Rooted in Love

today

2012-02-15T20:08:00.001-06:00

This picture was taken today, Wednesday, February 15, 2012.


Zoe and Ruby: in the sun, shirtless, with sunglasses and popsicles.

If this is how warm our Winter is, I do not want to meet Summer.

V Day

2012-02-14T10:47:00.000-06:00

Nothing says Happy Valentine's Day like a pink pancake breakfast.

awesome is

2012-02-13T22:07:00.000-06:00

one headband, two boots, three barrettes, four flowers

all on one beautiful two-year-old

where we were

2012-02-13T22:03:00.000-06:00

Last week, the babies were sick. Neither of them could go to church on Sunday, so we spent the morning rocking and crying and feeling sorry for ~~ourselves~~ myself.

Frankly, I was not looking forward to Kent being away (on an out-of-town rotation for work) for the entire week, leaving me at home with sick kids and running on fumes.

Let me back up.

I am an introvert. If you know me, you know this about me. But while I have made some good strides at putting myself out there and have practiced being a competent and contributing member of society, I still enjoy - nay, require - some solitude on a regular basis.

With two children (ages 2 and 1) and an extrovert husband, this rarely occurs.

So on Sunday I was completely drained and highly anxious over the upcoming week of single parenting. As I held both of them on my lap, I began to brainstorm where we could go for a few days. I even considered driving to Indianapolis (18 hours +); this is how desperate I felt.

Monday morning rolled around without any solid plans, but Kent was gone by 5 and I knew I would have to do something in order to not be the crazy lady you'd hear about in the news who - you know - went off her rocker and hurt her children and herself...

(But let me say here that I don't think I would go that far. I mean, you'd have to be pretty darn depressed to do something that bad. And I just can't stand the thought of ANYBODY doing ANYTHING harmful, damaging, demeaning, or in any way bad to ANY child.)

Sorry for the multiple digressions tonight.

I called my mother. Marmie to the rescue! By 9 we were packed, loaded, in the car, buckled, and merrily on our way to Abilene for an indefinite period of time. We even made it the whole way without stopping (except for the drive-thru window to pick up a diet coke - ZERO points! Call me an addict.)

And we had a good time. My parents were welcoming and comforting. I showered, which works wonders for a troubled mind. The kids love the piano at my parents' house. Kevin or Anne or Marmie are constantly playing that or the ukulele or something. It's wonderful!

They did have to attend meetings all day Tuesday, so I loaded up the kids in the morning for a tour of my Alma Mater - Abilene Christian University.

I love ACU. I liked it when I was there. But I love it now. I guess my memories grow fonder the longer I'm away. Is this normal?

We enjoyed seeing the campus, which has changed a lot while I've been away (only SIX years!), running into people I knew, and entertaining the college students with our antics.

The kids in front of the Gata Fountain.

Then Stephen slept three hours. This is by no means normal - even on a good day. He was getting sicker. He woke up from his nap feverish and puny. I took him to the nearest urgent care clinic where he tested positive for the flu. For those of you not in the medical field, rarely is a positive test result a good thing. It means he had it. Influenza!

Why can't it just leave us alone?!

Poor baby. His ears were red too, so we went ahead and gave him antibiotics along with Tamiflu, fever reducers, and breathing treatments. Overkill? Probably. But it worked. Wednesday morning he was much improved. His fever was gone, and he was down and playing.

Before

After

My parents suggested I take a break and head home without the kids. They thought I could use a day off and they wanted some quality time with the grandbabies. Let's just face it - kids are totally different people when Mommy's around. And neither one of them wanted much to do with anybody else while I was there.

So I left. I came home and cleaned up a little, ate a Panera salad for supper, watched Downton Abbey (don't start! No, do! No... don't. It's complicated.) and slept until I woke up.

Thursday morning I enjoyed my ritual outing with my residency girlfriends and a weigh-in at my Weight Watchers meeting. Then I drove to Athens (Texas) where Kent was working for the week. I listened to whatever I wanted in the car. We enjoyed a nice dinner together (happy Valentine's Day) and attended the community theater production of "When Bullfrogs Sing Opera".

I did not sleep in, however, on Friday morning because I had to drop Kent off at the hospital at 7. Then, I hit the road again to meet my wonderful, angelic, compassionate, understanding parents with the kids.

Despite its beginnings, it was such a good week. I was glad to see Athens and my opinion lifted a little after meeting the docs there.

So, we're back. The flu has not beat us. But we're still not 100%. Enter a UTI.

But, hey, it could always be worse. Today I am grateful for shelter from the cold rain, music class with friends, lunch and play and chicken with more friends, two children taking afternoon naps at the same time, beans and cornbread, and my neighbor who came over to help me with bedtime tonight. Not bad. Not bad.

breakthrough

2012-02-13T15:49:00.000-06:00

When Ruby was a baby she wore hats, but was never too keen on headbands or bows. And she's never been able to keep a barrette in for very long either.
Until now. Sunday she asked for a braid. And she wore it all through church. Again, today, she brought me clips, flowers, bows, and ponytail holders and requested I braid her hair. I love that her hair is pulled out of her face. And I don't even mind taking her out with no less than FIVE bows in her hair plus some clips and ponytails.
She's just adorable.

Matt Phillips

2012-02-01T09:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday the kids and I traveled to Abilene to celebrate the life of this young man:

Matt was one tough cookie. He lived his (short) life to the absolute fullest. There was no stopping him - even bones of glass. He took on everything as a new challenge and greatly impacted everyone he knew.

You can see in the above video what a ham he was. He had a contagious laugh and brought joy to everyone fortunate enough to be in the same room with him.

He died much too young. And much too suddenly.

But I think everyone is celebrating his life and celebrating his new real life he is living now - running, jumping, playing football, and praising his Father in Heaven on new legs. Praise God for that assurance!

It was a long day for the kids, but well worth the effort. So blessed to be at Matt's funeral/goodbye party. And blessed to be with family for a short time.

Ruby rocks

2012-01-29T21:54:00.000-06:00

Kent is working tonight. After working all day. And will work all day tomorrow.

Again.

However, we have had a really great day.

But the object of this post is to tell you that after a late evening out (of worship and taking Kent a bowl of hot beef stew), while I changed and rocked Stephen and put him to bed... Ruby cleaned up the house.

She picked up everything off the floor and put the puzzles away on the shelf. She gathered all the shoes in a heap together (the shoe basket was blocked by the stroller). She piled up diapers and dirty clothes. She laid out all her Barbies (yes, Barbie has entered our home; more on this later). And when I came out she was quietly drawing on a piece of paper.

She's so cool. Sometimes she can be so stinkin' helpful! It makes me swell with pride.

Which is why I'm writing.

I am swollen with pride.

Some may say my world revolves around my children.

Not necessarily.

My world revolves around Jesus, and when I see Him in my children - through kindness and acts of service and love... well that's just pretty awesome.

Thank you and goodnight.

mission

2012-01-27T19:34:00.000-06:00

I reported a couple weeks ago that we have been sick. Well, the kids didn't get it too bad. But I'm pretty sure I had the flu and am still suffering from cough and junk (possibly bronchitis?). I spent a good three days in bed (and the house greatly suffered for it), but was rescued by dear friends who kidnapped the kids for a few hours to let me rest. I am doing much better.

It has been a busy month for Kent as he is on an internal medicine rotation and using half his days off to attend a medical missions conference last weekend.

We went to the IHCF (International Health Care Foundation) seminar last weekend. We were blessed by fellowship with believers and missionaries (both currently serving and retired) and greatly encouraged by the gathering there. To sit in a room of Christian missionaries and think about the hundreds of combined years they have served Jesus in foreign places is just inspirational. We heard some great lectures from teachers like Dr. Bob Lawrence (Nome, Alaska), Dr. Patti Patterson (Lubbock, TX), Janice Bingham (former missionary to Tanzania and nursing instructor at Harding), Dan Bouchelle DMin (my personal favorite session), and Dr. Michael Justus to name a few.

I was also able to earn some continuing education credits for my nursing license.

Speaking of nursing.

Hearing some of these lectures and stories from nurses and doctors on the field made me think I seriously need to do some studying! I have forgotten so much since having children and even more since I graduated nursing school. I am sure my textbooks are even out of date now. Yikes! There is just so much to know and while I won't be working as a nurse for a few years, I know there will be times I'll be called to duty to assist in the operating room or with a delivery or a neighbor who knocks on the door with a burn. I need to be better prepared.

Suggestions?

Let me also add to this post with some more details of our immediate plans.

This May we will be traveling to Chimala, Tanzania. Tickets have been purchased, and fundraising is in full swing.

Tanzania, as you can see, is in East Africa bordered by many countries and the Indian Ocean.

We will leave May 17 and be gone nearly 6 weeks - many days of that will be traveling to and from. We are taking a flight from DFW to Dubai, UAE. Then another flight to Dar es Salaam (the capital city of Tanzania). THEN, Lord willing and providing, we will take another flight to Mbeya, which is 50 miles from our final destination of the Chimala Mission.
It will be a grand adventure with the kiddos, but we'll recover from the three days of travel and have a month to live and play and explore the compound - all the while assessing it as a long-term home for us.

You may wonder how Kent can afford this kind of time away from his residency. Well, it all counts! He will be working in the clinic and hospital, greatly expanding his surgical skills, and working with diseases we don't see as much of here (HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, and malaria). It will be great practice for him.
And great mommy-raising-kids-in-Africa practice for me. If that's where we end up, that is.
Ruby is really excited and has already started making her packing list. Final approval goes through me, though. Sorry, Sister, we just might not be taking that baby stroller...

FWSSR

2012-01-27T15:32:00.000-06:00

Ruby and W at the calf roping competition

The kids and I met up with friends at the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo. I love this kind of stuff. Even though I grew up in small town Texas, I never participated in 4H (beyond the cake decorating and baking competitions). So this is a foreign and exciting world to me. And I love exposing my kids to it to. Yes, Ruby, animals stink.

Stephen and C at the calf roping

First, we stopped by the arena to watch cowboys roping calves. I'm not sure if Ruby was cheering for the horse or the cow, but we had a great time.

Girls will be girls.

We watched chicks hatching. I think Ruby could have stood here for HOURS.

And so could I.

After walking through the barns and checking out all the animals there, we stopped by the petting zoo. Ruby informed everybody that goats like to be scratched by their ears. She had a blast petting the goats, rabbits, cows, lamas, and miniature horse.

I had a blast watching her.

Stephen had a blast napping through it.

If you're in the DFW area, I highly recommend the stock show. It was a great outing with lots of new sights, sounds, and smells to experience. Next year we may brave going to the rodeo with the kids.

training

2012-01-16T13:46:00.000-06:00

From day one of life, our job as parents is to train our children. Training them to be kind, to be loving, to say "excuse me," to sit at the table when we eat, to not yell in the house, etc etc etc... It never stops.

There's sleep training.

Training wheels on the bike.

Sharing the train set.

And...

Potty training.

My favorite.

So Ruby potty trained last summer and was good to go when preschool started back up. She'd still have an accident here and there. And sometimes stubbornly refuse to poop in the potty. But it takes time, right?

Then, in November, we went to Haiti and Indiana.

And she hasn't really used the potty since.

She talks about it.

She says every time I put a diaper on her, "Am I not using the potty?"

And I say, "You CAN use the potty! You can use it anytime. Whenever you are ready to use the potty again, you can wear big-girl panties."

But she's wearing diapers. Pull-ups are too expensive, and the frustration of accidents wasn't worth it to me. So she is wearing diapers - which are cloth and paid for already.

We still occasionally watch Elmo's potty time DVD. And I know she knows how to use the potty. She's just not. And while I'm not supposed to set a deadline, I did tell her this morning that they have potties in Tanzania and we can't take her diapers to Tanzania, so she has to start using the potty before we go.

That's in May. She seemed agreeable to this arrangement. Here's hoping for the best!

Dear January

2012-01-10T13:27:00.001-06:00

Dear January,
I've got your number.

This time last year I was battling mastitis. Then Ruby caught the flu. Then me. And it was a horrible time.

So really, I'm not complaining when I say that Ruby and Stephen have pink eye. And Ruby woke up this morning with fever and chills and puniness. And I have a head cold.

Nothing really. I've got this down.

But it is only the 10th.
So I guess there is still time for January to rear its ugly head at us, but for now I'm counting my blessings. Enjoying being indoors on a cold, rainy day. Drinking hot chocolate and watching Mary Poppins with my babies.
Hot oatmeal is so, sooo good. Much better than I remember.

the Christmas post

2012-01-09T08:36:00.001-06:00

It is a little late to be posting about Christmas, but for the sake of documentation, I am going to anyway.

We were lucky Kent had the entire weekend off, so we headed to Abilene for a weekend of pie, movies, little sleep, presents, and togetherness. It was great!

We kicked off the weekend with a wine tasting.

Wh-what?!

Weird, I know. Who are these people, and what have they done with my parents?

But I like it.

For the record, Stephen did not partake of anything but milk. And some cheese. Okay, and some chocolate.

I enjoy being around my family. They're funny. Have a hot pot of coffee all day. When polled which kind of pie should fill Mom's two pie crusts, we all asked for two more... And she made them!

And we ate them.

And there's always someone to talk to. Just one of the benefits of a large family.

Saturday we kicked back. Kent took Ruby shopping and came back with a new phone - for me! We let the kids open their box of presents from Kent's parents, and the Christmas spirit settled on everyone in the house.

Sunday morning we went to church. Then we waited for Geoff and Jamie to join us. Since Geoff had to preach that morning, we waited to start our festivities till they came. We ate, sat by the fire, roasted marshmallows, played games (well, some of us played games. Others of us tried but were constantly interrupted by two demanding toddlers.), and watched movies. Then we exchanged gifts. Since there are so many of us, we draw names at Thanksgiving and buy one gift for that person.

I drew Geoff and gave him three chickens (for a family in Honduras) and a carton of eggs to go with them. Geoff also drew my name, and gave me Loving the Little Years and an Amazon gift card.

The kids received a giant wooden train set from my parents. Much to Ruby's frustration, Stephen can storm through a train city and King Kong it in seconds flat.

Monday, we continued our holiday tradition with Kringla for breakfast and building gingerbread houses. It's getting pretty competitive after all these years. I helped Ruby build her first house.

She had a BLAST decorating her house with candies and sneaking bites of jelly beans.

Then we went on an excursion to the barn before packing up for our drive home.

It was a merry Christmas for all.

Dear World

2012-01-06T18:23:00.000-06:00

To all people everywhere with whom we share this wonderful earthly space,

Please pick up the poop after your dogs. Little boys might innocently mistake it for their dinner.

Thank you.
Respectfully,
The Brantlys

Dallas Arboretum: A Review

2012-01-01T21:34:00.000-06:00

The Brantly clan has enjoyed two day trips to the Dallas Arboretum this month. Yes, that was one too many; however, we had purchased a Groupon and couldn't use it on the Saturday we all went, so I had to arrange for another excursion with my sister in order to use it.

We were very excited to see what they had to offer and how it compared to our own Fort Worth Botanical Gardens.

The theme for the year was fairy tales, so they had constructed several castles to roam through with synopses of the stories they corresponded to. We enjoyed reading the history of some of well-known fairy tales and watching the kids discover them.

We had read that they would have a live reindeer to meet, but when we asked around we were told that the weather was too damp and for him to come out. (Aren't reindeer, like, from Alaska?)

But the weather was nice enough for us to enjoy ourselves and spend some quality time together.

Ruby's favorite princess, Rapunzel.

The Princess and the Pea

Cinderella's carriage (or "cage" as Ruby calls it)

The second time we visited, we weren't quite as impressed. Something about the high-dollar parking (for mine and my sister's car) and less-than-impressive staff at the gate.

However, we made it our mission to enjoy ourselves nonetheless. The weather could not have been more perfect, and the kids really had a great time. We lumbered through the miniature pioneer village and wagon, smelled lots of flowers, and ran through piles of leaves. All in all, it was a good morning.

I recommend the Arboretum for a family outing. But once is enough. I can much more easily visit the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens for free and without the 1-hour drive to get there. Same flowers. More roses. Not as yuppy. And more friendly.


Gorgeous

Christmas program

2011-12-21T11:29:00.001-06:00

Last week, Kent and I attended Ruby's very first ever preschool Christmas Program. She was so cute and we took a gazillion pictures and videos!

I showed up 45 minutes early and claimed our seats on the very front row. Camera in hand and ready to go. It occurred to me that I am that person. I don't know how I got here. How I became the likely-over-proud parent of this two-year-old who stands on the front row and freezes to stillness when she spots me in the crowd. And ignores every other child there.

Sigh.

I'm getting old.

put together

2011-12-21T11:08:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas!
I have very purposefully enjoyed this season this year. I "decorated," bought a Christmas tree. Bought Christmas presents for the kids, my husband, and my brother (we draw names, so it's not too out of hand). And it's all been done and ready for a while now. So I've enjoyed being with the kids. Reading Christmas story books. Drinking coffee. And listening to Christmas music by our fireside screen saver. (Yes, it's awesome.)

I bought the kids a bird feeder for their Christmas present.
Then we had a cute little kitty cat show up on our patio begging for warm milk.
So we gave her some.
Then a few days later she brought a friend.
And today we have three kitty cats drinking milk on our porch.

So I guess the bird feeder will be our way of continuing to provide food for these stray cats this winter.
Not what I had originally intended, but I guess it's never too early to teach my children about the circle of life.... Right? Maybe?

I hope your holiday is a blessed time with friends and family.
There are more videos of the kiddos coming up, so stay tuned to Channel Brantly!

ice cream

2011-12-20T12:01:00.001-06:00

Tom and Peggy came over for Sunday lunch this week and brought their famous home-made vanilla ice cream. You may remember Ruby's first taste of ice cream...

Soooo good!

Well, here is Stephen's:

twitter

2011-12-20T08:31:00.000-06:00

Both babies slept all night.

In their own beds.

All night.

Until 7:08 am.

Then they came running into our room. Just as happy as can be.

We were all giggling with the delight of it.

at it again

2011-12-13T15:11:00.001-06:00

I LOVE this author! Rachel Jankovic writes at the blogs Femina and Desiring God, and she gets me every time. She is in the trenches of mothering small children and somehow relates perfectly to me. I feel like we could be best friends. And Lauren Winner is in our circle, too.
Check out Rachel's latest article "Of Kids and Christmas" at Desiring God by clicking here.

dear stephen

2011-11-27T19:41:00.000-06:00

Dear Stephen,

One year ago today you were born. It was a wonderful delivery that I dreamed about for many weeks afterward. I was so excited and blessed and relieved that you were a perfectly healthy little boy. I still laugh that we were so overwhelmed by your coming that we didn't even think about whether you were a boy or a girl. We were just so glad to see you! (Even if you were a little blue).

We named you Stephen after your dad's cousin, Stephen. Your daddy has always admired him, even though he is a few months younger. Stephen is a good man who I would be happy for you to be like in many ways. Also, Stephen is the name of the first martyr in the Bible. He was killed for spreading the name of Jesus. Your middle name, Parker, came from our friends the Parkers, who have been such good friends to us while we have lived here. We are grateful for their friendship and the many things they have done for us. We look forward to our families growing up together and walking through life together.

Just moments after you were born.

You were perfectly healthy, just a little purple.

You have grown so much in one year. I just can't believe you are one year old already! Where has the time gone?

I could tell pretty early on that you would be a busy little boy, active and moving! You watched your big sister doing all sorts of exciting things around you, so you were never content in a swing or bouncer for very long. You learned to roll over and scoot around the floor. Then quickly figured out crawling, then standing, and now walking. You have even showed your sister a trick or two on the playground and helped her not be afraid of the things there.

You are all boy! Before you could walk, you could climb. I would find you on the table, or in a drawer, or on top of the toilet reaching for the roll of toilet paper. Anytime a door opens, you make a run for it. If somebody leaves the room/house/car without you, your feelings are deeply hurt and you throw such a fit. You don't want to be left out of anything that could possibly be more fun than the thing you are currently doing.

You are not scared of messes. Unlike your sister, I cannot trust you not to put everything in your mouth. You'll try just about anything: dirt and paper are especially your favorites.

You are a pretty good little eater, too. You still like soft foods like sweet potatoes, squash, yogurt, cream-of-wheat, and applesauce. But you are branching out now into other things. You prefer to eat, however, in a "grazing" fashion: take a bite, run off and do something else till you're ready for the next bite, then you come back for another, and repeat. (I'm afraid you learned this from your sister Ruby.) Oh well; there's lots of time to work on table manners.

You are a very happy child. You have an infectious giggle and bright smile. Your eyes twinkle when you smile and your little cheeks puff up when the corners of your mouth curve up. You are just so stinking cute!

You love kisses and zerberts and tickling and wrestling.

You do not like when sister takes something away from you. You have learned to throw your whole body down on the floor in a temper tantrum when something doesn't go your way. I can't help but laugh at the sight. Sorry.

After a day of playing with Sister, you are usually ready for bed by 7:30 or 8. I love to snuggle you in my arms, with your long body hanging over the arms of the rocking chair, and give you a bottle of milk while I sing to you. "I'll Love You Forever," "I am Jesus' Little Lamb," "He Will Rejoice Over You," and "Standing There For Me" are your routine nighttime songs that I sing to you. If you're being particularly stubborn, I'll throw in a lot of extras; you love to be sung to. And I love the cuddle time. I hope I can keep that up for a long, long time.

You will sleep in your bed a few hours, then you wake up and I move you next to me. This will probably have to stop soon because you're getting so big... and wiggly. Even in your sleep, you're a social creature - you just want to be close to somebody.

You have learned to use some signs to communicate: more and milk. You can say "thank you" and "uh-oh," as well as "Mommma, Mommma, Momma!" and "Dada." You are babbling more every day, and if you can ever get in a word in with your sister, I know you'll take off speaking a million words a minute just like she does.

Some of your favorite toys are books, cars, blocks, Ruby's babies, and balls. Your favorite time of day is bath time, and you earn one just about every day. You could play outside for hours and hours if I had the stamina for it - no matter the weather, you want out! I love that you and your sister like to be out in nature so much; I hope to foster this love in you as much as I'm able and help you learn to appreciate the earth and creatures that God created for us to care for.

Most of all, I pray that you will grow up (not too fast!) to become a man who loves the Lord with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength. And that you love His people as you love yourself. That you love Jesus and strive to be just like Him. I pray that you have a heart of compassion for people who have not yet heard the name of Jesus and that your passion is to bring it to them.

This year, I have prayed this Psalm over you:

O Lord, who may abide in Your tent?

Who may dwell in Your holy hill?

He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,

And speaks truth in his heart.

He does not slander with his tongue,

Nor does evil to his neighbor,

Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;

In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,

But who honors those who fear the Lord;

He swears to his own hurt and does not change;

He does not put out his money at interest,

Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.

He who does these things will never be shaken.

Dearest Stephen, I love you. I never could have dreamed how much you would change our lives or how much more joy you could bring to us. But you have blessed us so much. I am so grateful to have you in my life, and I could never imagine life again without you. You are a sweetheart, and I have much to learn from you.

Happy Birthday, Stephen!

I didn't quite blow out the flame quick enough to keep him from sticking his finger in the hot wax. :(

Cars and trains from Pop and Marmie and Aunt Caryn.

Dear God,

Thank you for Stephen and Ruby. Thank you for blessing me with two beautiful, healthy, smart children to take care of for this time. Teach me to love them like You love them. Teach me to be an example to them - an example of compassion and grace and love and patience.

Amen.

where am I

2011-11-26T11:11:00.001-06:00

In case you missed it, here is a video of my precious girl reading "Are You my Mother?" by Eastman. She is apparently very familiar with the trials of this baby bird and can "read" the book word for word.

So, without further ado...

Haiti: Part Eight, Finale

2011-11-23T16:09:00.000-06:00

Part Seven can be read here and you can also click links within that post to previous journal entries from our recent trip to Haiti.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

In the past I have struggled with leaving. I used to weep every time I left Honduras.

But this morning, driving through the city in the cage, dust blowing, breathing in black exhaust from the truck in front of us, I just hated this place. I couldn't get out of here fast enough.

So then I cried anyway.

We left the "Maison" (the Heart to Heart headquarters in Petionville, Port Au Prince) at 6:30 sharp. At the airport, we fought our way through the aggressive men trying to unnecessarily help us with our bags. And joined one line after another through immigration and checking bags. The bags were put through three scanners and I was patted down twice. I suppose I should be thankful for the security.

Now I am on the plane from Miami to Indy, the last leg of our journey. After passing through customs and security again, Kent and I had a lunch date at Manchu Wok in terminal D. Two hours later, my stomach is flipping.

But I am sure some of that is related to my anxiety and nerves over seeing the kids again. I don't know whether they'll be at the airport or waiting for us at home - maybe even napping. But either way, I just cannot wait to get my hands on them!

Just a few more hours....

Dad asked me today if I would like to ever go back to Haiti.

Quite frankly, no, I wouldn't.

That's how I feel today anyway.

There will be many more days and weeks of processing the things we have seen and experienced this week. I have written some of it down, in this journal, but some of it just has to be mulled over in the mind for a while.

Also, even though we are not in Haiti anymore, I feel like the experience of it is not over until we have been reunited with Ruby and Stephen. Simply because being away from them was such a big part of the whole thing.

And I know I have said it already, but I just cannot wait to see them.

_____________________________

We are home now. Home, home. Our Texas home. And it's so good to be back. We had a great week in Indianapolis with family after we returned from Haiti. We needed the time to re-coup from our trip and get the kids used to us being around again. I'll never forget the first time I told Ruby "No" - she looked at my like I had grown two heads. Seriously. So it was good to have some days to adjust - for all of us.

I was a nervous wreck on that plane ride home. I cried pretty much the whole way and just grew more emotional the closer we got. I ran through the terminal and when Ruby saw us, she ran to us! I swept her up in my arms and carried her back across the security check point she had just ignored. I squeezed her and held her and cried. Then Kent took her and I took Stephen, who was kind of stunned by the whole scene. Like he was just piecing the pieces together - that we had been gone this whole time, and where have you been?! He was fussy and clingy from then on for several days. Ruby looked at me and asked, "Do you have tears? Are you sad?" Yes, I am crying, but not because I'm sad. Because I am so happy to see you again!

It was wonderful to be home.

And even better being at our home. We have spent the week together, decorating for Christmas and slowly-but-surely unpacking our suitcases. (Just two more to go.)

We walked the neighborhood and found a park. A new one that we have not seen before. And it's only two blocks from our apartments! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. So we went yesterday. And I'm sure we'll go again today when the kids wake up from their naps.

We are also driving to Abilene tonight to spend Thanksgiving Day with my parents. So excited.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

joy is

2011-11-22T14:45:00.002-06:00

Joy is...

Being home.

Finding a new park two blocks from home.

Christmas decorations.

(Camera cord is lost; pictures will follow.)

first haircut

2011-11-19T19:43:00.000-06:00

Stephen had his very first haircut on Thursday. Jennifer has been cutting Kent's hair for years, and every time we're in town, he goes to Mac's to get a haircut. I figured she could give Stephen his first haricut too - since we're here!
He performed his part perfectly and sat in the seat very well. He's such a big boy!

Haiti: Part Seven

2011-11-19T09:59:00.000-06:00

This link will take you to Part Six, where you will also find links to other previous posts from my journal from our recent trip to Haiti.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Today started out a bit frustrating. I was antsy and not feeling at all like being here. Since we weren't "working," I didn't feel a need for me to be here any longer. I just wanted to go home.

Our driver was late, so we didn't leave the house till after 10, and waiting around just made me antsy-er. I thought the sooner we left, the sooner we could come back, the sooner to bed, the sooner we'd get up and go home. I have not felt this so strongly this week, but I think knowing that I am so close has made that feeling stronger...

Anyway, we did finally leave to drive through the city. We stopped at the Bel-Aire clinic to see it, to see where David has worked in the past trips down. It was interesting driving through town and seeing the damage from the earthquake and the progress of the clean-up (which David said was a lot!).

Bel-Aire is the poorest area in the city and most of it still does not have electricity restored. We saw lots of tents and piles of rubble on the sidewalks. There was usually a trench beside the road of water and trash and probably waste. Then there were merchants lining that same sidewalk with their fruit, chickens (tied together by their feet), shoes, or whatever it is you're needing to buy. Red meat is butchered and laying in a basket or right on the sidewalk. Sugar cane was being hacked into pieces and sold for people to chew on. Men and women were carrying cardboard boxes on their heads filled with juices and sodas. It was not unlike the street scenes I've seen in Teguc or Choluteca, just a lot bigger scale.

Watching people walk by, I can't help but wonder what their life is like and how hard it must be. But it is life. It is their normal. They are just trying to make it work the best they can.

After our tour of the clinic, we drove around the National Cathedral, which is in ruins. Several people were there begging for money. This is the only time we got hit up for cash, except for when they shove things in your face to sell you.

The Palace was next. It's in pretty bad shape, too. But our driver told me the President still lives there in an unharmed portion of the house.

Port Au Prince is a horrible, dirty, dusty, smelly, poor place. I don't know if I could live here. Just getting from one place to another would be an all-day affair - a painful affair.

The country was just so beautiful, and I've wondered why Haiti doesn't try to bring in some tourists. I was really longing for a breath of that fresh country air today.

After our tour of the city, we were driven to an old Baptist Mission in Fairmenthe for a lunch of pizza and coke and some souvenir shopping.

I do not like shopping.

At home I just want the ladies in the department store to leave me alone and let me shop. It is already unpleasant enough; I don't want people trying to sell me stuff I don't want.

But that's exactly what they do here. They approach you so abruptly and try to sell you stuff you don't want. We did buy a little something for the kids and our parents.

But I was still just as eager to be home.

We had a brief de-briefing session with David and Joan tonight before supper. Several of us nearly cried while we processed and hashed things out together.

David asked us to choose an image that comes to our mind from the week that has impacted us in some way.

I will never forget crossing that river in Cascade with the help of an old, naked Haitian woman. There are several layers to that that I could glean from: old helping young, "weak" helping strong, poor and rich, etc etc etc.

It'll be a moment of embarrassment I will never forget.

Now I have packed and I'm ready for bed. And I am so so ready to see the children. I wonder what it will be like being with them again. I wonder how they'll behave. I anticipate Ruby will be pretty clingy and attention-seeking.

Stephen too, actually. I just can't wait to hold them in my arms and kiss their sweet cheeks.

slideshow of the kids

2011-11-17T16:14:00.001-06:00

Customize a free digital slideshow

The kids had a great time while Kent and I were away in Haiti, and I am so grateful that Krista and Jan documented their time with pictures and videos. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to be able to take my kids to Kent's parents' and know they would be so well cared for. I truly did not worry about that.

I may have worried about Jan from time to time, but not the kids.

They were sick with a stomach bug for a great part of the week, but still managed to have fun. Mama bought them a red wagon to ride in together, and there's a cozy coupe for each of them. Countless little people and old toys fill the basement along with the air hockey table. The favorite "toy" has probably been the rake; Ruby loves to rake leaves!

Haiti: Part Six

2011-11-17T09:41:00.000-06:00

Part One through Five, can be found here, here, here, and here.

This morning we rose to the usual morning sounds... roosters, pigeons, goats, etc. And our typical Haitian breakfast.

We were eager to start our day, so that we could finish it. No one said anything, but I think we all feared the same turn out today that we had yesterday. I was looking forward to my cold coke and hot shower and was dreading finding 80 people waiting for us at the church today.

And, as usual, there was no need to worry. We quickly signed up about thirty patients and a few more trickled in for a total of 38 for this morning's clinic. We had to be on the road by 1:00 to make it home before dark. And we had seen everybody and packed up by noon. We stopped in the pine forest for a picnic of you-guessed-it ham and cheese sandwiches and juice. I was grateful for my Clif bar because the bread was very green with mold.

We loaded up again for the short (in distance) but long (in time) drive back to Petionville in Port Au Prince.

I was so relieved to get here. Knowing our days of clinic are over, I am just more and more ready to be home. To hold and rock and sleep beside my sick babies.

I have not cried as much as I thought I might, but I have missed them terribly. I have had moments, though, that I am grateful they are not here... Riding in that car. Hiking up the mountain. No running water. So much dirt and dust to eat. I would have been a nervous wreck.

For one week's time, it would not have been feasible.

But long term, I feel, would be different. It would be our home. They would learn the things that are just not safe. And we would just figure out the water thing.

I noticed yesterday that many of the babies were not wearing diapers. I don't mean disposables; they didn't even have cloth diapers. And I remembered the dozens of cloth diapers and pins I have at home, and I've been kicking myself for not even thinking of it. So... next time... I'm bringing diapers.

When we got back to town, we checked email immediately, and I took a shower. I even conditioned my hair. While Kent and David swam, I read my book and ate chocolate-covered almonds.

I am tired tonight and have come to the girl's bunk long before anyone else. Kent and Alicia will probably stay up and catch up with the other team.

I'm almost home.

Haiti: Part Four and Five

2011-11-17T09:36:00.000-06:00

Click here to read part three.
Click here to read part two.
Click here to read part one.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I am a day behind, so I'll start with a recap of yesterday.

We left Cascade Pichon early in the morning and arrived in a small town called Platon Pichon. We set up our clinic under a tin roof pavilion where there was absolutely no privacy. The excitement of the day - and the highlight for Kent - was a minor surgical procedure he was able to perform on a young 25-year-old woman. He managed to remove a good-sized keloid from her left ear, using no more than suture, scissors, and his Leatherman pocket knife. He was sure proud of that! I got to help in my own nurse way - sterilizing, cutting suture, and fanning flies away.

The set-up for this clinic was not ideal and there were no toilets or out-houses available to us, so it was good that we didn't have a huge turn-out. The road was rough again as well, but after the few days we've been here, we've learned not to be surprised by that. However, my stomach has not gotten used to it, and I feel sick every time.
Our "hotel" is in a village called Beleque. We have electricity at night when they run the generator, but no running water or screens on the windows. It's rustic, but not too bad. We are tired enough by the end of the day that the 2-inch-thick foam feels like down when we crash into bed at 7:30pm. The sun sets so early and rises so early that it feels much later than it actually is.
Of course, the roosters rise even earlier than the sun. So do the dogs, and the goats, and the pigeons that are nesting in the roof right above our heads.
So when Josh (the volunteer coordinator for Heart to Heart Haiti) says breakfast is at 6... well, it's just no big deal because everybody will easily be up by then.

The food we have been served has been delicious. For breakfast, they make scrambled eggs with lots of grease (butter, lard, whatever it is they use here) and onions, fresh-sliced avocado, bread, jam, and coffee or tea (highly sugared). Lunch has been... well, it's great because we're so hungry by the time we eat. But it has been either hot dogs (with ketchup and mustard and mayonnaise) or ham and cheese sandwiches. Supper is usually rice, beans, meat (goat, chicken or beef), fresh tomatoes and avocado or watercress greens, and fried plantains. Also juice. The best juices you have ever tasted! It is usually "chadeque" juice (made from the fruit and lots of sugar) or orange or guava juice. All good.

So we are well fed. We generally sleep well - till 4:30 or 5. But we smell bad. Real bad. On Friday we will drive back to Petionville after clinic and take warm showers and check our email.

Today, Thursday, we drove to a small community in the pine forest (well, what's left of it after deforestation) called Gro Chavel, near a town called Thiotte (Pronounced "Choat").

We set up clinic inside a good-sized church building. There were lots of people already there waiting when we arrived, and we ended up seeing 140 people today. We are returning tomorrow to see those whom we didn't have time to today.

I started out helping Ms. Elisabeth (the Haitian nurse) with triage, then moved to the pharmacy once things got rolling. Today we saw lots of pregnant women (around 20, I think) who will all deliver at home by themselves like their mothers and grandmothers before them. I was trying to figure out how they clamp and tie the cord, but I have not received a clear answer on this. So I am hoping to investigate more tomorrow.

We worked a longer, harder day today, but it was a good day. Joan and I are weary of counting pills, so it's good we only have a half day tomorrow.

I am really looking forward to that shower.

And a cold coca-cola.

Haiti: Part Three

2011-11-16T07:46:00.001-06:00

To catch up on my journal entries from our trip to Haiti, you can read Part One and Two here and here.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The rooster woke up at 3 this morning and continued to hit snooze every half hour after that. I heard him, but he didn't disturb my sleep too much - I slept so very hard. It was the first night in over a week that I slept next to Kent, and that was comforting.

It is a lovely morning, and I went outside to take some pictures. I watched two older women walk up the mountain carrying rocks on their heads, then they'd walk back down for another one. They were barefoot and the soles of their feet looked like they were as tough as leather.

We started clinic later in the morning, and I helped Ms. Elisabeth with triage. She would fill in patient information while I checked blood pressure, pulse, temperature, and weight. For children and babies, I only check temp and weight. I enjoyed being on the front porch of the clinic and seeing all the people that came for consults today. Not being able to communicated beyond "Bonjour" makes me feel stupid, though. I just made a lot of hand motions and sort of mumbled under my breath in English. All with a smile, though.

We have met a few people who also speak Spanish, so this allows for better communication than English.

I took another cold shower this afternoon followed by some reading and Farkle. Kent hiked up to a ridge on the mountain where he was able to send and receive some text messages from home. It sounds like the kids are having fun but not sleeping well at night. It feels like I've been away from them forever! I am enjoying being here, but am eager to hold them again.

We are packing up again tomorrow to drive to another rural village for a clinic just like the one we held today. Cascade is so beautiful, it will be hard to leave the panoramic views of the falls and mountains behind.

Haiti: Part Two

2011-11-15T12:56:00.000-06:00

To catch up on my journal of our recent trip to Haiti, click here.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Yesterday turned out to be a long day of trouble when our plane out of Miami was delayed by a mechanical problem. When we arrived in Port Au Prince, it was already very dark, so we didn't get to see much of the city until we were leaving it this morning.

We left around 7:00 this morning for our 8-hour cross-country trek in the Land Cruiser to Cascade Pichon. I am certain this is a place very few Americans ever see, but it is beautiful. There are big waterfalls "cascading" down the mountain out of a natural underground lake. The mountains are lovely too. We passed through a pine forest - most of which has been cut down for fuel.

The road reminded me of the road up to Las Pitas, Honduras - only it was four times as long.

We saw many people on the road. Naked children. Women carrying water or fruit on their heads. Trucks full of charcoal. Donkey hauling firewood. Women doing laundry in the river.

We got out of the Toyota about a mile from our hotel, and walked the remainder. The way was treacherous, with loose rock and steep climbing. We waded across the freezing river. An old woman was doing her laundry, and she stopped to hold my hand across the river. She was strong and sure. And I was grateful for a firm hand to hold on to. However, she was half naked. Topless. I think Kent took pictures, but I'm not sure we can ever share them with anybody. But we've been laughing about it all afternoon.

When we finally got here, we all just collapsed into our beds for several hours. Then we ate a supper of fried fish, rice and beans, watercress greens, and fresh avocado.
Then I took the coldest shower of my life!
We played a game of Farkle before settling back into our rooms for the night. It gets dark pretty early here - by 5:30 it was pitch dark. The sun also rises about 5:30 in the morning.
It is humid, but comfortable temperature-wise. We'll start clinic in the morning; I think we're all eager to see how that will go and what we'll do and see.
We have been without a cell signal all day, so we haven't received any word from home about the kids. I hope they're doing alright and being adequately distracted from the fact that Kent and I are not there. I miss them. I feel like a different person without them next to me, and I feel like meeting people is in vain because they can't possibly know me without knowing my children.

Haiti: Part One

2011-11-15T12:39:00.001-06:00

Kent and I have safely returned from the "Country of NGOs," the nickname for Haiti since there are so many non-profit organizations there. We came home Sunday night, and I have never been happier.

I would like to share with you all my journal entries from the week along with some photos.

Haiti, Day One November 6, 2011

"Are you nervous?" Krista asked as she was driving me to the airport this morning.

I checked my stomach for butterflies.

"No. I'm not nervous... I don't know what I am."

Sad. Leaving my precious babies in bed this morning was one of the hardest things I have done. I didn't expect this many tears.

Excited. I love a medical mission trip, and Haiti is uncharted territory for me and for Kent. I am excited to work alongside him as a nurse.

Anxious. Traveling 90 miles over 8 hours to Cascade Pichon tomorrow. Being so far away - from home, from the kids, from everything familiar.

Hopeful. I am hopeful the Name of Jesus will be spread through my, our work this week. As I was preparing Ruby for my absence, she acted like she understood. She would say, "You're going to take care of people."

But I'm not sure she really knew I would be gone. A week is a long time not to see her or talk to her.

And Stephen. Poor Stephen. I hope he cooperates. He is so attached to me, but if anybody could calm him down, it'd be Mama.

While I know the children will be fine and well-cared-for, my heart aches for them. I miss them already.

I am convinced Satan does not want me to go on this trip. I have dealt with fears and anxieties I didn't know existed, and I'm not even in Haiti yet. But I know - and I pray - the Lord has much to teach me this week. And much to grow in me. This is where I'll pray to keep my focus.

Little Stephen

2011-10-31T14:06:00.001-06:00

It is high time I gave you an update on the baby in the house.

Stephen is 11 months old and is a complete mess! He has started walking, climbing toilets, eating paper and boxes, and grazing off crumbs on the floor. He sure keeps me on my toes; who knew boy and girls could be so different?!

He also has a beautiful smile, with 8 big teeth (and a molar on the way). He has the most infectious giggle and loves to "zerbert." He has figured out how to "tattle" on his big sister and certainly can throw a tantrum when something hasn't gone his way. I am glad he's not a meek second born; he's gotta have some chutzpa to keep up with Ruby. Now, if I can just channel it toward good...

He (finally!) signed "more" the other day when eating graham crackers. He can say "Momma" and "Dada," but usually only when he's upset and wants to be held.

He likes to cuddle after naps, which is just my favorite.

Otherwise, he wants down and he is OFF - so watch out, World!

He is a proficient stair climber, and loves to play on the playground with his sister; he has even showed her a trick or two at the park. See his confidence has inspired her to be a little braver on the slide.

Oh, he can also climb the slide. The tall one. By himself.

Not that I encouraged that or anything.

He loves to play outside - no matter the weather.

He received his first Bible at church last week.

And he has weaned himself. I guess the Lord was taking care of the details on this Haiti trip, because I no longer have to worry about bringing a breast pump or finding a hungry Haitian infant. (And now that he's weaned, where have all my bras gone?! Seriously, were they ALL this ill-fitting before I birthed him?!)

I can hardly believe his birthday will be in one short month! What did I DO all year?!

Both children bring me such pleasure; I just love them to death.

And Stephen's waking up from his nap now; he must have heard me bragging about him...

leaving on a jet plane

2011-10-31T13:54:00.001-06:00

Dear friends,
We are leaving for Haiti in less than a week, and I may never really feel "ready."
Anxieties are high since I will be leaving my kids far away, traveling to an unknown place, have little if any amenities I am used to (electricity, water, internet), do not speak the language, etc etc etc...
I am taking the kids to their grandparents in Indiana on Wednesday morning. Then I'll spend four days settling them in and getting them accustomed to being there with Mama, Papa, and Aunt Krista. And on Sunday, I'll meet up with Kent and the McRays in Florida on our way to Port Au Prince. THEN (and here's another anxiety for you) we will drive 90 miles over 8-9 hours in order to get to Cascade Pichon, where we will work for the week.
Yes, you read that correctly: 8-9 HOURS to travel 90 MILES! That's how bad the roads are.
"Remote" is an understatement.

I am also excited! I am excited to see a new place. Excited to fly. I love to fly. Excited to use some rusty nursing skills and stretch my brain a little bit. Excited to work alongside my husband in a medical way for the first time since the summer we met - when I taught him how to measure blood pressure and my arm turned all shades of purple from his practicing on me.
And excited to share the love of Jesus - in any way that I can. I pray that I can eternally impact just one person while I am there - through a healing touch or a prayer or a smile.

I am eager to go. And I am eager to be back! If that makes sense. I think to anyone who has ever left young children, that makes sense.
I would appreciate your prayers while we're away. We can also receive text messages; and those would be appreciated too (although you may not get a reply).
Thanks!

peace

2011-10-27T21:23:00.000-06:00

Ruby is obsessed right now with the story of Jesus calming the storm by simply speaking the word, "Peace!"

We read it before nap time and again before bed. Then she wants to talk about how she doesn't need to be afraid at night or when it thunders because Jesus is bigger than the storm, and He is right here beside her and in her heart. Then she pulls her shirt out away from her neck to look down at her tummy and says, "But I can't see him, can I?" And she answers herself, "No, but when I get to Heaven I can see him and Mary. And Mary and Jesus are in my heart..." And on and on she goes, and it's the most precious conversation you've ever heard from a two-year-old in your life.

And it's a good reminder for this Momma, who needs to know that Jesus is bigger and that He's right here beside her. And He speaks "Peace" through a little squeaky-minnie-mouse-two-year-old-going-on-twelve voice.

anger

2011-10-26T12:58:00.000-06:00

There is very little that provokes me to such sinful anger as POOP in panties.
It is driving me absolutely crazy.
Every time it happens, I think, "SURELY, this is the last time!"
She's getting it, really. She has more successes than accidents. But, seriously! We have been potty training for MONTHS, and I am quite fed up.
She knows how to do it right; which is what makes me so mad. She does it correctly. She knows how. She can do it by herself.
But then, sometimes, she still does it wrong!
And I just get so, so mad at her for it.
And I throw a tantrum. Like a little 2-year-old who isn't getting her way.
Today it was while I was rocking Stephen and giving him a bottle for nap time.
Great timing, Ruby.
So now, neither child is asleep. Which also makes my blood boil. I just want to hang it all and run the many errands that need to be done this week.

I love my children so much, and when I respond to them this negatively, I'm instantly filled with guilt and displeasure with myself. I hate that I burst out in anger at her. It is not something I want to model either, and I know she is watching. I hate that too.
Then this article came up on my blog roll. Check it out; it'll be well worth your time.

I need to pray more.
I wish I responded to my children in prayer. I wish that was my gut reaction.
What can I say? He's still working on me, too.

my prayer

2011-10-25T11:07:00.000-06:00

My prayers have changed this week.

On Monday I prayed, "Lord, please please please help Stephen to sleep! Let me have 6 (okay, make it 8 while I'm at it) un-interrupted hours of slumber. I went over two years of poor sleep with Ruby, and now she's learned - you have taught her to sleep in her own bed. I just don't think I can do that again, God. Please."

Then I read this passage from Paul's letter to the Corinthians:

"Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked."

Wah. Wah. Wah. At least that's my initial reaction to this scripture. But if you keep reading, he goes on to say that he only boasts to show his weakness; that God may be glorified through his weaknesses.

This is not a passage I pretend to understand at all, but what the Holy Spirit showed me this week was to pray this:

"Lord, so I know I'm selfish and I have so much, and take so much more for granted. You continually provide all that I need and all that my family needs, and I am ungrateful and rude and selfish in return. Forgive me. I thank you for your constant provision in my life. Use my sleeplessness to glorify you. Instead of asking for You to change my circumstances (which admittedly could be much, much worse), I ask that you use me to glorify you in everything - even in my weaknesses. To You is all the Glory! Amen."

And wouldn't you know it, the last three nights Baby Stephen has slept till the 4 o'clock hour! God is good.

Here is a link to the entire passage I quoted above.

photonovella

2011-10-24T16:12:00.000-06:00

Add caption

Stephen can climb this slide all by himself.

Second-best wedding ever! Congratulations to Stephen and Amy Snell.

I've decided it is no longer necessary to microwave sterilize Stephen's bottles.

I ordered 1/4 beef from a local farmer. Her name was Muchacha - the cow, that is, not the farmer. And we're eating her for dinner tonight.

Love and marriage. And cars.

2011-10-15T05:58:00.000-06:00

Kent and I are spending our first weekend away sans kiddos.

I cried when I left them even though I was excited to be spending time with my dear husband. And knowing I had a 17-hour car ride ahead made it easier; it never would have been possible with the babies.

You see, we are in east Tennessee for our cousin's wedding to our dear friend. "Big Stephen" (after whom our baby Stephen was named) is marrying Amy today, and we couldn't be happier or more excited for them. I've been glowing over it for weeks. The rehearsal dinner was such a sweet time last night. Everyone praised them both, and I couldn't agree more that they are just the BEST! They are both marrying into wonderful families, and I am excited to see how the Lord will use them together - as I know He's used them tremendously separately. Last night made it quite evident that both of them have made tremendous impacts on those around them.

It's all just so exciting!

Also exciting was how we blew up our engine (again!) only 30 minutes away from the rehearsal that we were so excited to be there on time for!!!

But we weren't on time.

Thankfully, Kent has been in like NINE weddings, so I think he'll do his part just fine.

Also thankfully, the children weren't with us, which made being stranded on the highway much more bearable. Been there; done that! I picked red and orange and yellow leaves while Kent figured things out with the tow driver. ~~When the engine quit~~... When a chunk of engine hit the road... A man pulled over immediately and gave us a number for a wrecker service, which we then called and they were on the scene in record time. Before we even called our insurance. So everything went really well, actually. And another cousin came to the rescue to pick us up and deliver us to the church.

Today we just have to figure out how we're getting home.

We could rent a car (likely). We could fly (I wish). Or we could buy a new car (I wish again). We just need to find a kind heart to take us to Knoxville to rent a car because there's just not much around here.

Life continues to do this to us. And, surprisingly, it was no big deal. We just wanted to get to the rehearsal. And we knew it would all work out. Somehow we'll make it work. No biggie. Kent has already arranged to borrow a friend's car in Fort Worth (that red mustang has come to the rescue many, many times this year already) and we'll just hope our other one drives longer than a month (which is about how long it goes until it's back in the shop)...

I am sure there is something to be learned in all this. Any ideas?

shaken

2011-10-07T20:33:00.000-06:00

I have a friend in the ICU.

She was thrown from her motor scooter Wednesday evening on her way to work the night shift in labor and delivery. She was wearing a helmet, but still sustained a closed head injury, so she's suffering from some altered mental status. Miraculously, there was an ambulance right behind her when her accident happened, and they had her to the hospital within five minutes of it happening. And she has no broken bones or chest trauma.

Today, she has shown some promise. She pulled her own breathing tube out this morning. They watched her to see how she would do, and she's been breathing just fine. They backed off on her sedation, and she opened her eye and squeezed her husband's hand.

He, of course, feels like his heart has been ripped from his chest. While we're all feeling the stress of it, no one can imagine what he must be going through - seeing her like this.

Her parents flew in last night, and now that I'm a mother... well, I just can't imagine what that would be like either.

She needs your prayers for complete healing and restoration of her body and mind.

She and her husband both work with Kent regularly. And they're really involved with the small discussion group we're a part of on Tuesday nights. And they are our friends. We've walked through residency with them. They're both set to finish in a few months and are job searching.

And now this lurch in all that.

It could very well be that she is back on her feet and back to work in a month or two.

But it could very well not be that way.

And the waiting game is tough on everyone - especially her husband.

Thanks for letting me sort through this here. It's been a real emotional week around here, so we could all use a little "lifting up" to the Lord.

weapon of mass destruction

2011-10-05T20:29:00.000-06:00

Purple! White! Purple! White! Fight! Fight! Fight!

2011-09-23T06:34:00.001-06:00

Unfortunately, we didn't fight hard enough. But our family enjoyed an outing to the Cowboys Stadium in Arlington to cheer on our Abilene Christian University Wildcats.

Uncle Geoff and Aunt Jamie.

new meaning

2011-09-12T18:41:00.000-06:00

Never leave child unattended

rant

2011-09-07T20:33:00.000-06:00

Something happened this evening that really, really bothers me.

I was "enjoying" dinner with my two children, my friend, and her two children.

Right, "what were they thinking?!"

But we were having a pleasant evening, enjoying our salads - between wrestling our toddlers to their chairs, holding infants on our laps, running toddlers to the bathroom, and dodging macaroni and cheese...

In short, it was chaos.

But I've seen worse.

We were trying so hard to be patient and maintain a level of calm and pleasant conversation, while also giving every effort to keep the calm and pleasant atmosphere for all the other patrons.

This is where we failed.

While deep in (important, heady, and spiritually uplifting conversation), the toddlers started singing... loudly.

Before we could get their full attention to quiet their angelic voices (and probably before we realize what's happening), we notice glares from all corners of the room and in particular from a man sitting right behind me. (I was there first, I might add.)

He did a complete 180 in his chair ready to give us a piece of his mind, while the woman sitting across him was desperately trying to get him not to.

But the message was heard loud and clear.

He didn't have to say anything.

His actions left me angry and defensive, and the passive/aggressive in me loudly reassures my friend that we have every right to be eating here, that this is a public place, that restaurants are not allowed to discriminate entry to any person, even persons so low as to stoop to bearing children and have the audacity to nourish them!

I mean, it was plainly clear that we were giving it our best effort to keep control, and that we were well aware of the chaos surrounding us. Hello! We'd been surrounded by it all stinking day!

And feeding four under two is no small task.

Since when is it not okay for children to be seen in public?

And since when did I become a person also not welcome in a public eating facility?

So while my red-headed temper flares, my friend gently points out an angle I hadn't thought of...

She took pity on him. How sad it is that he has no children in his life that have taught him the value of a young life. The value of taking compassion on a young mother.

It is a shame.

A crying shame.

I love my friend. It is amazing what a good friend and a hot cup of chamomile tea can do for me.

Thanks, B.

Dear Park,

2011-09-07T09:48:00.000-06:00

We missed you.

It's good to be back.

Love,
Ruby & Stephen

roles as mother.

2011-09-07T06:30:00.000-06:00

Lying in bed this morning with my son (who woke up at 6am), I compiled a list of some of my most and least favorite roles as mother. In no particular order:

tickler

kisser of boo-boos

sole source of nutrition

rock climbing wall

kleenex

waitress

snuggler

dance partner

peak-a-boo queen

Bible teacher

hall monitor

chauffeur

the one who can make them smile

instructor

etiquette expert

pusher of the stroller

cook

entertainer

audience

maid

bottom-wiper

tooth-brusher

pacifier (in more than one way)

confidante

commrade in arms

Can you figure out which ones are my favorites?

What are yours?

more than I can handle

2011-09-06T10:34:00.000-06:00

I read an article a few weeks ago that has been floating around in my head; I'd like to share it with you to get your thoughts on it.

Nancy Ann at Femina blog writes,

"I know that God has promised to never leave us or forsake us; He has promised no temptation will ever be so bad that we can’t escape. But He never promised not to give us more than we could handle. In fact, He gives us more than we can handle all the time. If He didn’t, then we would not need to lean on Him for grace and strength."

This is so true! She points out that Paul was constantly being thrown things that he couldn't handle, but how he grew to trust in the Lord and be content with what he had.

Two under two?

More than I could handle.

Ahem, residency?

More than I can handle.

January, 2011?

More than I could handle.

Post-partum depression.

All - more than I can handle.

On my own.

Thank you, God, I am not on my own.

It was a very happy Sunday!

2011-09-05T08:01:00.000-06:00

It was a glorious high temperature of 94 yesterday, so the kids and I busted out of our cabin ("We've got cabin fevER!") Name that tune.
And went for a walk through the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens.
It was good for my soul. I cannot even tell you just how good it was for my soul.

How To: Preschool Nap Mat

2011-09-03T11:53:00.001-06:00

I never would have thought that this kind of material would make this blog, but I cannot help but share this project that I did for Ruby this morning.

She is starting to preschool this week, and we are all really excited! We got to meet her teachers last week, and she hasn't stopped talking about it. This year, she is required to bring a nap mat with her to class. I looked around a little online and quickly found that I could spend anywhere from 20 to 90 dollars on a basic cushion for her sweet head.

So I thought that I could probably make one for a little less and it would be way cuter!

Ready?

Let's dive in!

Start with some fabric - they can match or coordinate or not! Whatever you or your little one will like. These coordinating fabrics are fleeces that I bought at Jo-Ann. I bought 1.5 yards of each. Then I pre-washed them and sent them to my friend who embroidered "Ruby" on both fabrics.

Lay the fabrics together inside out and the quilting batting on top of that. Make sure your edges line up and are cut straight - cut to the width you want. I just eye-balled it, and my finished project is 49x27 inches (that includes the seam).

Sew the stack together.

The next step is very important.

Take a break and tie a ribbon in the girl's hair.

Make sure you leave an opening on one side so you can turn the whole thing outside out when you've finished sewing the sides.

Then turn it.

I had also attached a little pocket on one side for Ruby's baby (or whatever else she finds to stick in it).

I sewed a seam on the "head end" about 9 inches from the edge to become a pillow for her crown.

Now, find a grungy old pillow in your house.

And cut it open.

And stuff the pocket you made with the innards of the pillow.

(You could also buy new fluffy pillow stuffing at any craft supply store, but who doesn't have an old pillow lying around?)

Then sew it closed. You could make it look better by doing this step by hand, but I didn't. I used the machine, and I don't think it'll bother her too much.

You're done!

Approval!

I also attached ribbons to roll it up and tie it for easier carrying.

She can choose whichever side she wants to sleep on. She likes the flowers best, but likes the "pink name" on the other side - so I'm sure she'll be switching it up!

I am very pleased with it, and couldn't believe how quickly it came together. A very easy project!

Thanks for bearing with me through my first ever crafty blog post. You are all so fore-bearing. And I love ya for it!

Happy crafting,

progress?

2011-09-01T12:14:00.000-06:00

Stephen woke up only one time last night at 3:00am - much later than he usually wakes (around 12:30 or 1am). So this could be progress... or it could be due to the fact that we were at church until 9:20, and he had spent the hour prior blackening his knees and feet by crawling all over the fellowship hall floor. So he was pretty worn out. But he is crying fewer and fewer minutes each night. Still nursing when he does wake though. I guess this is okay, until I'm not there at night...

The kids and I went to the preschool to meet their teachers this morning. Ruby is so excited to go back, and guess what?! There's a potty in her classroom! She's thrilled.

Stephen busily crawled all over every inch of his classroom while I visited with his teachers. They are all very nice, and I am really excited about the t-i-m-e coming up. I know it will be filled fast, as it always is... but I'm ready. I'll be doing some work for the new pediatric clinic at the church as well as some housekeeping and the inevitable errand-running. I am also eager to deepen some friendships I have by going on lunch and tea dates. But I just might throw in some reading and Bible study at the local coffee shop, too.

So... with all that, there goes the first semester! I know full well how quickly the hours at mother's day out fly and the things on my list never quite get completely checked off.

But I've always been a dreamer...

museum play date

2011-08-29T12:05:00.000-06:00

These are old pics, but I wanted to share them from our venture to the Museum of Science and History. We could spend hours there in the children's museum. Oh wait! We did spend hours there!

my mei tai

2011-08-29T12:02:00.001-06:00

This is my mei tai. I made it when Ruby was a little smaller, but Ruby wasn't much for being worn. Stephen, on the other hand, LOVES to be held or carried at all times.

Well, except in church, when he wants down to crawl under the pews and play peak-a-boo with whoever will catch him up.

He also loves to be outside - even if it's just on our porch. He recognizes that specific door's squeak and he comes sprinting to go outside. So this day (Saturday) I decided to try a back carry and sweep the porch with him. He absolutely loved it. I think I'll be doing this more often; especially for fussy times.

thanks

2011-08-29T11:55:00.000-06:00

Thanks to all my friends who have offered support and encouragement through sleep training. While we are just starting out on this path, I feel like we are making a little progress.

The last two nights, Stephen has woken up two times to nurse. Most times he falls right back to sleep, but a few times, he's had to cry a little bit.

My friend, Italia, let me borrow her baby crib. I think it'll be more comfortable for Stephen than the cardboard mat of the pack-n-play.

The idea is to move him into Ruby's room (from our closet) once he is sleeping through the night without crying. I am still working on the arrangement of that space. Ruby is not at all interested in - and, I believe, deathly afraid of - sleeping in the twin bed instead of her crib. She is definitely a creature of habit and comfort and routine. Where did this girl come from?!

Right... Me!

So while it's more work for me to get up with Stephen in the night - instead of just rolling over - I think it will pay off. I hope.

But I miss him... a little bit...

But three cheers for putting the pillow top back on our mattress! And to no crick in my neck this morning!

It's the little things.

the time has come

2011-08-27T20:21:00.000-06:00

My heart is broken.

The time has come for Stephen to move out. Out of our bed. Out of our room.
I pray that tonight is not as hard as I anticipate it being.

Baby Stephen is 9 months old today. He wakes up many, many times a night - most nights as often as every two hours. He is beyond old enough to quit doing this. He is well beyond old enough to not be nursing at night at all.
A week in Haiti in a couple months is looming over me, and I've been dreading leaving him with my mother-in-law while he is still in this poor sleeping habit...

So here we are. Kent is over sleeping on the edge of the bed and being kicked. But I'm just not sure my heart is in this; I am going to miss his sweet, sleeping face next to mine at night. And I feel bad for him - all alone in the dark. All by himself...

Pray for us.

oh fate, where is thy sting?

2011-08-26T13:23:00.000-06:00

2:23 pm

Both of my children are awake and crying in their beds.

And I'm wondering to myself if this is because for a flicker of a moment on the way home, I had a marvelous thought of some peaceful quiet this afternoon all. to. myself.

Do things like this happen because we dared them to be different?

Or are my children just being spiteful?

OR ARE THEY JUST NOT SLEEPING IN THEIR BEDS AT NAP TIME? All because they fell asleep for TWO MINUTES in the car on the way home from lunch with a friend?!

This makes me absolutely crazy.

Seeds: A music review

2011-08-16T09:05:00.000-06:00

Kent and I took the kids last week to a worship service where we go for MOPS. It was a special service led by Seeds Family Worship. It was instrumental (gasp!) and awesome! They put scripture word-for-word to music. And it's not kid music that makes you want to beat your head against the wall. It's actually good.

We have all very much enjoyed listening and quickly singing along in the car and at home. Ruby loves "More Than Conquerors" and "Put on Love" from the Seeds of Character album. She even remembers the hand motions that they did along with the music the evening of the concert.

As a parent, I appreciate the song "Children and Fathers" from the same album. "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right..." This is a verse we rehearse at home quite often, and it's the first scripture Ruby has committed to memory. (What does that say about me?)

What I also love about the CDs is each one comes with two - one to keep and one to share with a friend. They believe their message is important enough to give you an extra to spread the Word!

I can't recommend these highly enough! Check out their website and see if you can get your church to welcome them for a concert or see if they're coming to one near you. It is worth it; you will have no regrets.

Ruby's canvas

2011-08-08T06:57:00.001-06:00

Because a piece of paper is so last week!

Noel Piper: A book review

2011-08-06T20:14:00.000-06:00

I just finished reading Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper. It follows the life of five women of great Christian faith. Faith that withstood many trials, persecution, and torture.

I highly recommend this book. I borrowed it from a friend, and will be purchasing one for myself and more to share with others.

The first chapter follows the life of Sarah Edwards, wife, friend, and confidante of Jonathan Edwards. Piper writes of Sarah's faithfulness in life as wife and mother in the British colony of Connecticut. While remaining faithful in the "mundane," Sarah left a lasting legacy of faith not only for her family, (she had 11 children) but also for many travelers, students, and apprentices who came through her home (including Samuel Hopkins).

Next she writes about Lilias Trotter, who gave up her art career to carry the good news of Jesus Christ to Algeria. She prayed every day "that doors might be opened, that hearts might be opened, and that the heavens might be opened." She lived and worked among the Arab women, building relationships with them in their homes and extending a hand of friendship, despite having a chronic heart condition, being "too old," and sharing the responsibility of caring for her invalid sister.

Gladys Aylward was born in England in 1902, the year after the "Boxer Rebellion" (when thousands of Chinese Christians and foreigners were killed by members of the Fists of Righteous Harmony, nicknamed "Boxers") ended in China. Gladys dropped out of school at the age of 14, and worked as a maid and a nanny while she took acting classes in the evenings. She wrote, "One night, for some reason I can never explain, I went to a religious meeting. There, for the first time, I realized that God had a claim on my life, and I accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour. I joined the Young Life Campaign, and in one of their magazines I read an article about China that made a terrific impression on me. To realize that millions of Chinese had never heard of Jesus Christ was to me a staggering thought, and I felt we ought to do something about it." She applied for a missions training course, but after a year was asked not to return because she was not a "good" student. A spiritual mentor told her, "God never lets you down. He sends you, guides you and provides for you. Maybe He doesn't answer your prayers as you want them answered, but he does answer them."
She got a job as a house servant and started making regular payments for her train fare to China. Her parents became strong supporters of her call and gave her all that they could: their prayers and support. She went never expecting to see them again because the fare to get there was too expensive already. She left London with a Bible, pen, two travelers' checks worth one pound each, bedroll, teakettle, and an army blanket bundled around her few clothes. She was small, simple, and unpolished and was now leaving her country for the first time for a far-off place through the Siberian wilderness and warring Russia. How God protected her on her journey is an incredible story in and of itself that you will have to read for yourself. And I can't begin to tell you all the incredible things she did and dangers she encountered while she worked in China. Her story is amazing.
I have to tell you this one part, though: In 1937, the war hit her small village in China. The Japanese were looking for her (seeing her as a threat), and as she was fleeing her village, she was greeted by 100 children who had been led to her mission from another orphanage. She knew she couldn't leave them behind. She led them into the wilderness in search of refuge. God gave them what they needed along the way - some days food, some days hunger. After twelve long days, they reached Yuan Chu (where they hoped to find refuge) and found it completely deserted. They needed to get to the other side of the Yellow River; and waited there (the Japanese in pursuit) for four days, growing hungrier and hungrier. The children encouraged her to pray to the God of Moses (who opened the sea for the Israelites to cross) and about that time a Chinese soldier stumbled across them. He whistled to signal his men across the river who then rowed two boats toward them. After three trips across, all the children were safe on the other side.
On the other side of the river (because she had crossed it), Gladys was arrested. Since she was a foreigner, they assumed she was a spy. She was fleeing the Japanese because they thought she was a spy for China, and was arrested by the Chinese because they thought she was a spy for Japan! The 100 children surrounded the magistrate's office chanting "Let her out!" He realized that arresting Gladys meant taking over the care of these children, so he let her go.
Gladys and the children then had to travel four days on a coal train. She was growing sicker each day, weary of travel and hunger. "When fever almost captured her, then came the last, greatest blow. The gates of Xian were closed to refugees. There was no more room. She leaned her hot, heavy head against the wall, despairing. All this way they had come! What would become of her children? She hardly had strength to rejoice when she discovered there was a place at Fufeng, a nearby village. In a daze, she and the children traveled there by yet another train. Almost as soon as she delivered the children safely into the hands of other caregivers at Fufeng
In 1970, Gladys Aylward died in Taiwan. "[She] was only four feet, ten inches. She was a poor student and quit school at fourteen. She had a shrill, immature voice, no money, and no backing from a mission board. She was truly a weak thing - about the least thing we can think of - to go to China. But she found God to be strong and faithful to his word. 'God chose what is weak - I can do all things through him who strengthens me.'"

The next story is about Esther Ahn Kim, who suffered great physical persecution in North Korea, and took on an "If I perish, I perish" attitude through it all. She prepared for the suffering and torture she expected to face by memorizing scripture. She refused to bow to the Japanese idols and spent many years in prison as a result.
I'm getting long here, so I'll leave her story for you to read yourself.

Last, but not least, is Helen Roseveare, who was called to the Belgian Congo (before it was liberated and became an African country in the sixties). She was (is, as she is still alive) a British doctor, a single woman, who dedicated her life to the people of Africa. She was the only doctor around for miles, but also built with her own hands the hospital in which she worked and personally trained the nursing staff (how to take temperatures, etc...). She was incredibly burdened by her work load and spiritually weary and weak. She was constantly beating herself down because she could not do the best she knew to do - she simply did not have the resources to perform medicine the way she had been trained to. Piper writes, "Perhaps the deepest underlying personal factor in Helen's tension was the need she felt to do her very best and, if possible, to be the very best... Perhaps that is an issue for some of us - struggling with the reality that God has called us to do less than we want to do or less than we believe is best. For me, it's been especially true in my years with small children - 'I got degree for this? Maybe our problem is the way we see ourselves. Maybe we think more highly of ourselves than we ought."
Hello!
When Congo became its own country, rebel forces lashed out at any and all white people. They saw Dr. Roseveare as a threat and hunted her down. She escaped from them many times, but was eventually kidnapped, raped, and held hostage for many months. What she experienced and witnessed was horrible - it makes me sick just thinking about it.

I don't want to spoil the entire book for you because I highly recommend you pick up a copy for yourself. I have been inspired and encouraged by these incredible women of faith. I am embarrassed to admit I have never heard of any of them before, but I have also never read a missionary biography. (That was my sister's department.) So I am behind. But as we are preparing for and growing ever closer to becoming foreign missionaries ourselves, I am seeking just this kind of inspiration.
Yet, I firmly believe that we are missionaries. Aren't we all? That God has called me to be exactly where I am right now. That he has put Ruby and Stephen in my stewardship; that they are my mission field. Also, my neighborhood and city... But especially my family right now.
If I may, I would like to recommend further reading to you. Just a short article, but one that has haunted me for several weeks. My friend Jessica shared this with me from China: Motherhood as a Mission Field by Rachel Jankovic.
I have more thoughts on that article, but I think I have written enough for one day. Thanks for hangin' in there!

spurt blogging

2011-08-05T13:49:00.000-06:00

Stephen ate his first Cheerios ever today. I don't know if that is technically a milestone or not, but Ruby was asleep so I had the hands free to take some video. Enjoy!

mission feed the children

2011-08-05T13:47:00.000-06:00

Every Thursday this summer, I have had the pleasure to be involved with a summer feeding program at Southside church of Christ. The program was made possible through a grant from the USDA and Tarrant Area Food Bank. We feed anybody who is 18 years old and under. Over the summer, we have seen many of the same families from our neighborhood come, and we've been able to get to know them and demonstrate to them (hopefully) the love of Jesus which is behind all that we are doing.

You can see from the pictures below, that eating isn't the only thing going on...

Shout out to Heather: world's best trooper!

Ramiro Zimora: our ministry intern

Ramiro teaching Bible basics to the moms.

It has been such a blessing to be able to serve in this ministry. My children have been very well-behaved, and that is greatly in part due to Heather, who has babysat for me every week. She has helped care for and feed my children so that I could be free to pass out meals, visit with the mommas, and clean up.

We have only one more week, then school will be starting and the kids will be getting their meals at school. But I am already looking forward to next summer, when - hopefully - we will be doing this several days a week and broadening our activities to include more health promotion and Bible education with the mothers who bring their children.

coolest mom ever

2011-08-05T12:18:00.001-06:00

Exploring the train

Monday, the kids and I embarked on our first-ever adventure together to Dallas! It was a big deal because we took the train. The Trinity Railway Express* has a station just a few blocks from us. On a day that wasn't promising to hit above 110 degrees, we might have even walked. But not this week. Not this month. Not until January probably.

Ruby was sooo excited to ride the "choo-choo train." I was a bit nervous about doing this grand of an adventure without Kent as back-up. But it turned out to be much easier than I expected and loads of fun. I totally recommend this mode of transportation for any toddler. Not only was it super exciting, but they have POTTIES! And no car seats needed. And it's air-conditioned. I think we'll travel like this from now on... You know, for all those times we go to the Big D. (Which is as little as possible.)

Taken by Wren; sorry for the fuzz.

When we arrived in Dallas, we transferred to the DART to get to the Dallas Museum of Art for family day. The museum was a mad house. If my children were older, it might have been enjoyable to do some of the crafts they had available. But it was more just trying to get through the crowds with two kids still in my possession. We did enjoy some of the contemporary exhibits (I promised Bonnie we would), and found a little theater showing a Mark Rothko documentary (where I could quietly sit and nurse Stephen). Kent loves Rothko, and this was a nice reprieve from the crowds.

We enjoyed lunch in the sculpture garden, then headed back for the DART station to catch our train back home.

It was a great day. We met a few other moms and kids there from our MOPS group, and all had a wonderful time! We also made it through the entire day with dry panties! That's big, folks. Real big. LOVE this girl!

Stephen loved being carried most of the day, but he also enjoyed the floor of the play room filled with blocks and animals and all sorts of things that were okay to get into.

We will do this again. The train staff were so nice and helpful to this stroller mommy. It may even be worth just riding it to the end of the line and back some day...

*Trinity Railway Express does not know who I am or that I'm writing about their lovely train. Just wanted to share my experience with you, My Readers.

I can take a hint

2011-07-31T20:59:00.000-06:00

I've been called names before

2011-07-29T18:19:00.000-06:00

Ruby announced Wednesday morning that she was done with diapers, she wanted to wear panties and use the potty.

So I might be crazy, but I have found myself in the throes of potty training while Kent is on night shift and both kids are sick. She could have timed it better, but I'm not going to dissuade her! That might be crazy-ER!

We have had more accidents on day three than previous days, but we're sticking it out. She is figuring it out and even telling me she needs to go before she goes (sometimes). And poor Stephen is just along for the ride. Sometimes I remember to change him too, and occasionally he gets fed.

Maybe this was Ruby's way of demanding more attention for herself. Since Stephen is crawling and more personable, she's been a little ornery. She did great adjusting when he was born, but she still received most of the attention then. Now... Well, now she's really sharing me and my time with her brother and she's not just going to stand by and let that happen without me knowing it!

So I work hard to make sure we do things just us girls. While he naps, we play babies or have a dance party or draw.

And now! Now we are potty training.

It's an exciting time here.

There are much more interesting things I could be blogging about. Blogging... Remember when I used to blog?

But they are still in my head. And I'm having trouble organizing them there. Much less, on paper.

One is our future home: Ruby (who may have been brainwashed by her father) has talked incessantly about Tanzania. She wants to ride a choo-choo train and a bus and see the animals in Africa. And she's going to wear her sandels there. Soo.... Maybe we'll go to Tanzania.

Two is motherhood and mothering. This is where I begin to fall apart. Kent told me last weekend that by the time we finish our post-residency missions program, our children will be 6 and 4. Cannot. Keep. It. Together.

Three is my role as missionary, wife, mother, and nurse. I'm working on my education credits for my RN license that I'm renewing this fall... And, well, I'm treating it like graduate work. I definitely want to further my education, but this might be as much as I do for now. So I am searching for courses about labor and delivery and care of the mother and child. It's exciting. And it makes me feel more worthwhile when I spend the kids' naptimes doing that instead of one more episode of the Next Food Network Star.

There you have it. A quick update from the ol' amberjoyfull blog. Thanks for reading.

Excuse me, I have an announcement.

2011-07-12T13:34:00.001-06:00

I would like you (all three of you) to be among the first to know that Kent and I are going to Haiti. We are going with a few other residents and a faculty member/good friend in November for one week of medical help - as much help as we can offer to a shattered country, where most people are living in tent cities.

My heart cries out for the people of Haiti and since making this decision a few days ago, I have kept my ears pealed for any news coming out of this tiny country in the Caribbean.

Today I received this article from Relevant magazine about Haiti. Is there any hope? It's hard to feel like there is right now.

Also, you can listen to this episode of Fresh Air with Paul Farmer. It aired today.

We would appreciate your prayers for us as we prepare for what will be a difficult and challenging trip, but more so, I urge you to pray for Haiti. For its people. For its orphans. For its government.

Papa

2011-06-21T14:27:00.000-06:00

I had the great joy of celebrating my Papa's 80th birthday with him and the rest of the Spann Clan on Saturday in Abilene. There were over 80 people in my parents' house, and we had a great time. My kids were so well-behaved. Stephen took two good naps during the day, and Ruby - even though she did not nap - was sweet and obedient and friendly. This was such a blessing!

Even on vacation, the girl can't get enough books!

So happy. All the time.

The entire party.

Q T Pi

The Brantlys with Happy and Papa

The Carrolls with Papa and Happy

Papa and his Gretsch

The entire day was such a testament to Papa, Bill Spann, and the wonderful, faithful life he has lived. He has treasured his friendships, and that was clearly evident by the many who took the time to travel and spend the day with him. His friend Cotton was there; they met in Frisco when Papa was five and have remained friends ever since. And Papa's sister, Aunt Marcella, traveled from Connecticut to be there.

Papa has a young heart and a healthy body despite the things he has put it through in 80 years of life. He is never too tired or too busy to pick up Ruby and talk to her (even if he can't understand every thing she says). He is sweet and affectionate; I treasure his kisses to my head (as well as some of my friends). He is encouraging and old-fashioned and always ready to play a new record for you. One day in high school, he let me come over and pick out some of my favorite Linda Ronstadt and Barbra Streisand songs, and he copied them from record to a tape for me. His love of music has inspired his children and grandchildren, and I just hope to pass it on to his great-grandchildren too.

Papa is a man of the Word. He knows the Bible thoroughly, including references. His library/music room is full of commentaries and Bibles that he diligently pours over to prepare for his lessons on Sundays. I respect everything he says because I know he has studied it and believes it with all his heart.
The highlight of the day - for me - was Papa playing his guitar for us.

I am so blessed to have Papa in my life - and within a day-trip's distance. I always look forward to our visits over Saturday morning coffee (when I'm lucky enough to be there). And I hope and pray that he continues to bless our lives (and those of my children) for many years to come.

Hakuna Matata

2011-06-21T12:42:00.001-06:00

Ruby's aunt Krista traveled to Tanzania this spring and learned this song to teach to the kids there. She came home and promptly taught it to Ruby as well. As you can see, Ruby caught on very well.

Hujambo, hujambo bwana
(hello, hello sir)
Habari gani, nzuri sana
(how are things? very good)
Wageni, mwakari bishwa
(something like ‘all visitors are welcome')
Tanzania yetu hakuna matata
(Our tanzania has no problems.)

Hakuna matata, hakuna matata
hakuna matata, hakuna matata
Tanzania yetu hakuna matata.

food. glorious food.

2011-06-21T11:11:00.000-06:00

Stephen is almost seven months old. He's crawling with great proficiency and can hold himself up in a sitting position as long as he needs to in order to get back to crawling. I was waiting to start offering him food until he could sit up pretty well. But that ~~excuse~~ milestone came and went, and I still just kept putting it off. Breastfeeding is just so much easier. I am just not looking forward to the pureeing and packing of foods every time we are away from home. But the time has come. He's a big boy now and I had to start eventually.

Last night Stephen tasted his first food. It was oatmeal, and he loved it. I was not expecting him to want it, to eat it, and to want more. But I guess he was ready. I had to mix another bowl because he liked it so much.

We kind of thought this would help him to sleep longer. Isn't that what you would think? But he didn't. We will try again tonight though. If I can remember.

the cloth

2011-06-17T13:38:00.000-06:00

As if there's not a further reason to love cloth diapers, here you go:

fixed

2011-06-17T13:33:00.000-06:00

Thank you, Apple store, for repairing our iPhoto program and restoring our photo library. In celebration, I'd like to offer you some pictures of what you've missed.

Memorial Day weekend (before the car broke down). Stephen napping naked after swimming with his cousins.

All the cousins. Forgive my kids for not looking. Hey, they're the youngest!

Stephen sits. (He also crawls. Like a frog - but it's a crawl.)

The B-I-B-L-E, Yes, that's the food for me!

Yes, I have a big sister. Why?

I hired a sitter and got a pedicure. Yes, I did!

This year's garden Ruby and I planted.

Caption, anyone?

My babies getting ready for a swim.

Girls and boys are so different.

Ruby playing with the iphone before bed. She can work it better than I can.

tears

2011-06-10T20:01:00.000-06:00

Kent's on nights.

Both babies are crying in their beds.

Somebody help me.

I had the thought today that after these years of residency and single parenting, I just might come out tougher in the end. You know the Woman who can take on anything, isn't scared of anything, looks a challenge square in the eyes and says, "I dare you."

I ventured to the grocery store today with both kids. This is not a task I take lightly. I avoid doing it at all cost. But we needed an outing and we needed milk. So to the store we went. Once there, I discovered Stephen had soiled himself. If only I had noticed this before picking him up and smearing it all over me - or before positioning him in the sling and smearing it all over that as well. And if only I had that extra package of wipes that I had moved to Kent's car when we switched (the wipes are still inside the car, still inside the shop).

So after getting much more use out of one wipe than usual and squirting all the napkins in my car with Ruby's water, we rushed through the store for the essentials - you know, chocolate, milk, bread, eggs, wine - and headed home. Stephen went straight to the bath tub. There is nothing in this world Stephen likes more than a bath. Well, except breastfeeding.

Ruby was so patient in the store and while I was getting Stephen cleaned up. She is a big girl and is growing up so much, so fast. I can't stand it.

So I know that when you're sleep training, you're not supposed to pick the baby up - just a nice pat and kiss on the head. But Stephen's just not used to crying in his bed. He just needed to cry for a few minutes so I could collect myself, then he burped and I laid him right back down. Let's hope he sleeps for a while. You guys, he is still waking up a bazillion times a night. Something must be done about this. But I need backup, so I'm waiting till Kent has a few days off. Well, I thought I was waiting. I was until tonight when I left him in his bed to cry.

Okay, thanks for sticking it out with me. They're both asleep (for now). So where's that chocolate?

Life. Bring it on.

2011-06-03T15:29:00.000-06:00

It has been a pretty crazy week for the Brantlys. Go figure.

The kids and I celebrated Memorial Day with my awesome aunt and uncle. Ruby and I went swimming... Err.. should I say, her feet went swimming. We ate a wonderful meal of grilled chicken, grilled corn, delicious watermelon, and every good thing you should eat in the summertime.

On our drive home, however, we ran into difficulty. Kent and I had traded cars earlier in the week because mine has been in the shop so much, and we figured his was more reliable. Can you see where this is going? Yeah, I and two crying babies were stranded on the shoulder of I-35 at dusk on Memorial Day. His engine completely shut down with no warning - well, except for the loud grinding noise I heard for the brief moments before said stranding. His great uncle and aunt came to our rescue about an hour later, and my quiet evening at home with both kids in bed turned out not to be a) quiet, b) at home, and c) in bed at any decent hour.

Oh, to top it off I locked myself out of my apartment because my key fell out of my pocket at some point during the day, leaving us at home, but stranded yet again. Kent left his pager with his staff in the ICU and rushed home to let us in. (He was on call. See previous post for definition of "call.")

All in all, it was an emotional and tiring day. Both kids slept in the next morning, but I had to wake Ruby in order to meet the tow truck driver with Kent's key. No problem, though, since we couldn't go anywhere anyway, we stayed home and recovered.

Wednesday, after a looong day at home with the kids - who I could not convince to walk to the dollar store with me - Kent came home over an hour later than I expected, making us all late for our Bible classes that evening. (But we went, by golly!) Kent was late because he had a meeting about the OB fellowship he's starting. Turns out the hours away - especially the night hours - will be more frequent than I had expected. A few weeks ago, that might have thrown me for a total loop, but I've had this strange peace about the whole thing.

For one, this is what I signed up for. We knew that Kent would do this fellowship, and it was one of our (if not the biggest) draws to the program in Fort Worth. And I knew residency would be demanding with long hours, etc. That's a no-brainer.

Also, there is an end. In two years, it will all be over, and we'll look back and wonder how we ever survived - but we will have survived! So if I can manage to enjoy my children while they are young and relish each and every day, while still looking to the future to a time when we'll see Kent more, then we'll be okay. We'll make it. And we might - just maybe - be stronger for it.

I know that peace like this only comes from the Lord. The car thing, while stressful, is working out because we've been saving for an emergency just like this. We had the funds to cover it. That feels good. Really, really good.

And God has brought us through the first two years of residency... Knowing that He will continue to, brings me much comfort.

And a little bit of zoloft isn't hurting either.

serenade

2011-06-01T13:25:00.001-06:00

This just might be my very favorite video of my kids.

2011-05-28T09:13:00.001-06:00

grass

2011-05-26T19:41:00.000-06:00

Ruby Grace discovers grass on October 30, 2009

Stephen Parker discovers grass May 25, 2011

glitch

2011-05-18T14:22:00.000-06:00

I have an awesome video of Ruby singing to Stephen, but I can't download anything off my camera to our computer right now. I hope this is a temporary situation, as I am also very eager to share with you pictures from Ruby's first haircut!
So sorry.

Also, to catch you up, I quit being a vegetarian. The diet just wasn't working for me; I felt bad, had headaches daily, and was not losing any weight. Kent, however, did lose weight - 15 pounds actually. The stinker!
So I'm back to eating some chicken and turkey and eggs. And I am trying trying trying to cut down on the wheat and carbs. This is tough. But there you have it. (Three cheers for full disclosure!)
Oh, and I joined the YMCA. (Three cheers for a guaranteed shower while the children are being cared for?!)

Summer is in the air. Ruby has only two more days of preschool (thank you all for your sympathetic sighs), then we'll be on our own for entertainment. I imagine we will catch some story times at the library, lots of time at the park, and I'm hoping we can just raid our friends' pools. Like, every day.

This week our nephew is graduating from high school. That doesn't make me old, does it? I guess, technically he is Kent's nephew, so KENT is the old one? Right?

Right?

Stephen is a sweet heart who is almost six months old. He rolls all over the house until he wedges himself underneath the couch or the desk, then he screams bloody murder till somebody rescues him. He is endlessly entertained by his big sister, who is more than happy to oblige.
Ruby is two. But still a sweetheart. She still naps every day; for this I could not be more grateful.
Both children get me up in the night 2-5 times, each. Again, I live for nap time.
Ruby sings like an angel every moment of the day. Sometimes she makes up her own words, but usually she sings "Shock Haw-way-wuyah!" (Shout Hallelujah), "Mighty der Save" (Mighty to Save), and many other praise and Bible songs she has learned in the car or at church. LOVE her!

Sorry my blog is so lame these days. I am trying to figure out our iphoto situation, and I'll soon have pictures for you.

retraction

2011-05-15T20:39:00.001-06:00

My thoughtful, caring, compassionate, loving, and very charming husband pointed out to me that the tone my last post could be misinterpreted, so I deleted it.

What I meant to say was that we have been so blessed by knowing Kent's great aunt and uncle. Ruby has grown up with them, and they have come to mean the world to us! I absolutely love the fact that we can visit family and that Ruby can go and spend the day with them playing in their tupperware cabinet and pounding their organ - even if that means she eats cheese puffs for lunch and not the nutritious food I packed for her.

She could eat cheese puffs every single day if it meant we could see her Great Great Aunt and Uncle every day.

(But I would still pack her a lunch.)

call

2011-05-02T20:11:00.000-06:00

There was a time when I didn't necessarily "look forward" to Kent being on call, but I embraced it and turned it into a fun evening at home. I usually put Ruby to bed early and stayed up late watching TV or reading or folding laundry. And I enjoyed the solitude.

Now, however, I dread call. The last two call shifts, I have tried getting the kids ready for bed early, but the process of feeding them, bathing them, and getting them settled into their beds takes a great deal more effort than it does when there was just one. I start the baths around 7:00, thinking that around 8, I can have them settled and ready for bed.
Ha ha ha ha ha. Insert hysterical laughter here.
It is currently 9:07, and I JUST got Stephen settled in bed. I hope.
For now, anyway.

And I can barely keep my eyes open, I'm so tired.

*Let me clarify for you what "On call" means. "Call" is usually a 36-hour shift. Kent goes to work in the morning as usual (around 5:45 or 6), works all day, works all night, and works half of the next day (or whenever he finishes what he's supposed to do).

prayers

2011-04-27T13:17:00.000-06:00

Ruby's play time is interspersed with lots of praying lately. She makes me put my food down and hold my hands together and close my eyes. Then she says, "Dear God, Thank you for the sun. Thank you for today. Thank you for Daddy and Mommy and Stephen. And thank you that Ruby takes a nap. And thank you for Stella. And thank you Ruby slept all night in her bed. A! Men!"

Yes, it's hilarious. Yet so, so sweet. What could be better than a toddler lifting up her thanks to the Lord for all the things that are important to her (or the things that are apparently important to her mother - like sleep)?! She may have heard me pray that more than once...

She is a precious dear sweet child, and I love her.

Even if I did catch her yesterday banging her baby brother on the head with her "squeaky sandals."

I think she just wanted to see if they would still squeak on his head like they do on the floor... But she did get them taken away for the rest of the day, which I think was worse than the spanking. *sigh* Welcome to the Twos!

real tea party

2011-04-21T12:22:00.000-06:00

These are pictures of Ruby at a real tea party in Abilene sponsored by the Southern Hills ladies for the Hendrick girls. She had a blast!

Love Story, Part Four

2011-04-21T07:02:00.001-06:00

Finally. It's here. What you've all been waiting for. My sincere apologies for my tardiness. The reason I set out to write our story on my blog was so that I would have that accountability to finish it. You've done your part; I have heard your pleas. Thanks for waiting.

To catch up on Part One, Two, and Three click here.

I was feeling really weird about going to Indiana by myself to go a football game. What was I thinking? Keep in mind that originally, Dad was supposed to come with me. And that's a true story.

But I went, nonetheless.

Kent was gracious enough to meet me at the airport. He took me right away to the Anderson Apple Orchard, since his parents weren't going to be home for awhile, and he figured anyone who comes to Indiana has to taste an apple cider slushy from the orchard. And... it was delicious. We walked among the trees for a little while and caught up.

His parents offered me a room in their home while I was visiting - Kent's room as a child. It had a loft full of his and his brothers' trophies. We ate dinner with a couple friends. Sushi.

Sunday, I went with them to church, then we had a quick lunch and changed clothes for the game. I think we ate hamburgers on the picnic tables on the back patio. I'm pretty sure I ate one even though I don't eat beef. They had a red barn, green grass, and a beautiful large home. Indiana was a lovely place, and I felt very welcomed by his family. Kent was also being really nice to me. He opened my car door and carried my suitcase up the stairs. The Denver Broncos were playing the Indianapolis Colts at 4:00, so we headed downtown. Kent had the nerve to ask if I remembered to bring the tickets. I mean, wasn't that my whole reason for coming?!

The answer to that question is "no," by the way - in case you haven't figured that out yet.

It was so exciting walking with the crowd into the RCA Dome (which has since been destroyed and replaced by the brand new and massive Lucas Oil Stadium). Excited and nervous. Here I was, in Indiana, going to a football game with a boy. Was this a date? I didn't know if he had a girlfriend or what he was thinking at all. So I asked him. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes," he replied.

Heart stopping. Gut wrenching. Keep walking, I told myself.

"Her name is medical school."

Soo... wait. You don't have a girlfriend? Or you have one from school? Or you do, you just don't know her name?...

Finally, my head cleared a little and I figured out he meant, "No. I don't have a girlfriend. I'm much too busy studying and saving lives for anything like that."

Whew. Well, that's a relief!

We continued walking into the stadium. When you walked into the Dome, the sudden change in air pressure kind of pulled your body in and whisked your hair all around your head. That's how they kept the roof of the dome up. We found our seats and settled in. We watched the players warm up and Kent pointed out some of his favorite players.

I really only knew the quarterback's name on the team I was cheering for, but I was trying to act very very interested and like I knew a lot more than I did.

Let's be honest here... Wouldn't you?

Anyway, the game started. I loyally cheered on the Broncos as they took an early lead. The crowd around me, of course, was not excited to hear me cheering for the opposing team, but I was not deterred. Hey, I've got brothers, and I can smack talk with the best of them. They were not pleased that the out-of-towners were beating them. At one point, the guy next to Kent asked, "Couldn't you get a better date?!"

Ummmm... So is this a date?

He kindly explained, "Well, she bought the tickets!"

Eventually, the Colts pulled ahead. In the fourth quarter, I put on my Broncos sweatshirt in the hopes that a little more orange would encourage my boys to wake up and make a touchdown!

It didn't work, and we lost.

Luckily, that wasn't my sole purpose in coming all the way to Indiana! Right?

We had a good time at the game, and I got to sit right next to Kent - Kent Brantly! - for three uninterrupted hours.

After the game, he treated me to my first-ever Greek food. It was delicious! And he paid, so it was kind of like a date...

We had such a wonderful dinner together. There was never a lull in conversation, although I can't remember now what all we talked about. I think we talked about mission work, since I was in the midst of applying to graduate schools for my masters in nursing and making plans for going back to Honduras to work in a small Caribbean village. (Obviously, God had other plans.)

On Monday, I stayed home while Kent went to school for a few hours. His mom let me join her on her grocery store excursion. Wow. Can that woman shop?! I will never forget Jan's drive at the grocery store. She is on a mission, and nobody nobody can get in her way. Look out! She was shopping for the church pantry, and I'm pretty sure she stocked it entirely by herself. Really impressive.

That evening, Kent and I went downtown again to see some more of Indianapolis and to eat at PF Chang's. We both had leftovers that we ended up giving to a man we met on the street. Poor thing - I hope he likes tofu.

The next day (Tuesday) Kent went to school, and - as weird as it was - I went with him. I learned a lot in a radiology lecture and was quite impressed with this guy sitting next to me who knew all the answers even though he had not had any clinical experience yet. Kent is so smart.

And he had completely stolen my heart. I was in agony. He was being so nice. He had paid for two dinners now. But there wasn't anything that could have given me a clue as to his feelings toward me. We really were just friends. Much to my chagrin.

I went home. I had spent enough vacation days by now, don't you think?

I did have peace about the whole weekend. I had not embarrassed myself too badly. Even if I had spilled my entire Starbucks hot chocolate all over myself AND splintered my finger while touching the landscaping... all within an hour. Nothing TOO serious.

But my thirst for Kent was not quenched. I was grateful to have had prime time with him, but disheartened that it had not led to anything... more...

At least, that's what I thought...

First date: RCA Dome, Indianapolis, IN October 2007

missions

2011-04-20T13:59:00.000-06:00

When I was in high school, I felt the Lord calling me to be a missionary. I also knew I was supposed to be a nurse, but I had no idea how I could do both. I had never heard of medical missions. Missionaries I knew were preachers and built outhouses and stuff. Abilene Christian University introduced me to medical missions my freshman year - when I spent six weeks in Honduras. That is when I first saw nurses doing their job as ambassadors of Christ in rural mountain huts hours away from modern civilization.

I caught the bug.

My dad gave me the book Jesus, MD by David Stevens for Christmas. I read it twice that year because it showed so much about what medical missionaries did. And this was a whole new world to me! I read over and over the stories he wrote about a nurse named Susan that he worked with in Kenya. She was an RN, who did SO much and stretched her degree to its limits. She eventually wound up running the mission hospital there: Tenwek. Ever heard of it? I was inspired by the stories and empowered by my knowledge that a nurse can do this!

Since then, every move I've made has been to make me more prepared and ready for the mission field. The Lord's been working on Kent too. As a result, this is a passion and desire we share: to spread the love of Jesus to an unreached people, using medicine and healing and education.

We were greatly inspired and encouraged this weekend at a medical missions conference in east Tennessee. The Christian Medical and Dental Association (CMDA) is committed to raising up and supporting medical missionaries. They brought together a handful of retired missionaries with decades of experience to teach us the basic how-tos of becoming full-time missionaries. I was completely overwhelmed by the competence, the passion, and the love poured out on us by those who had been there before us. It was awe-some!

We have much now to be prayerful of as we prepare for (hopefully) a lifetime of service. But we were also very much moved to understanding that our ministry doesn't have to wait. The Lord isn't waiting till we are in Tanzania, or India, or Ecuador (or wherever!) to use us to further His Kingdom! We are ALL called to be missionaries and ministers of the Word. And where He has placed us now, is where He wants us to serve Him. So we're not just hangin' out here in the ghetto of Fort Worth, TX waiting till residency is over and our lives to start. We are living now, and I pray (and I ask you to pray with us) that our lives are living testimonies of the goodness of God. Thank you.


"Bucky" is the CMDA's pet deer, who comes to the front door begging for food.

I am not making this up.

Sweet baby Stephen asleep on Mama's lap.

Stephen got to see Papa and Mama. Shhh... Just don't tell Ruby.

tea

2011-04-19T09:32:00.000-06:00

There is a lot to report on our missions conference this past weekend, but until I get that out to you, I thought some pictures would tide you over.

Yesterday, I was working in the kitchen, and when I came out, I found Ruby and Stephen having a tea party together. Enjoy.

two things

2011-04-14T08:29:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was in a foul mood. You know those mornings when everything just goes wrong?

Well, Ruby came bounding into my closet singing "That your joy may be full!!" at the top of her lungs. Then in the car, when I was still a little irritable, she sang "He Will Rejoice Over You" over and over again. It's kinda hard to stay in a bad mood with such a delightful soundtrack. She is something else.

Kent and Stephen and I are leaving for Tennessee today. The Christian Medical and Dental Association has been kind enough to invite us to their headquarters for an "Orientation to Medical Missions" conference. We are so, so excited. Not only is it a weekend away, but we have high hopes that it will be encouraging and inspiring and helpful as we're trying to make our plans for our life after residency.

Ruby has gone to Abilene to stay with my parents for the weekend. I know she will have a blast, but I really miss her. It's so quiet this morning!

Well, I've got to get packing!

Supper tonight

2011-04-11T20:30:00.000-06:00

I am so glad we finally were able to capture this, even if it was on the iphone and not our real camera. But I hope you enjoy Ruby's dinner-time medley of "I Need Thee Every Hour," "Mr. Sun," and the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" - all interjected with "I Think I Can..."

This girl is hilarious. AND she ate a mountain of broccoli, too.

My wants

2011-04-11T07:28:00.000-06:00

I want to blog.
Really, I do.
I've had so much material lately.
And so few hands.
But to keep you up to date on the kids...
Stephen is four months old. He rolls over. Smiles a lot. Chuckles to himself. Always gets the hiccups after he eats. LOVES his big sister. Has fuzzy blond hair. Yep, blond. Still waiting... He looks just like Kent. He's super long and is wearing 9-month size clothes. He is so happy. And so laid back. And he wants to be wherever we are - do NOT leave him in a room by himself. Like father, like son.
Ruby is two. She still sleeps with her paci. Knows just how to push my buttons. She likes to pick out her own clothes. She likes Elmo. She has tee-teed in the potty a few times - which were greatly celebrated. She likes to call her grandmothers afterward and brag, "I tee-teed in the potty like Elmo!" But they don't usually understand it all over the phone. She sings all day long and often makes up words to songs she knows. She loves Bible class, preschool, the park, the library, and movies. She likes to eat bread, crackers, toast, goldfish, pita, chips, and bread. Notice a theme here? Like mother, like daughter.
Both kids are still in cloth diapers. Which I love! My favorites are the Fuzzibunz, but our Bumgenius is still hanging strong too.
Kent is working (in Fort Worth again, thank you, Lord!) in pediatrics now. He has to be there early every day, but he gets home by dinner time always and often times earlier. And he sits next to me in church on Sundays, which is HUGE! It's been a long time. I am so very grateful for this.
I have a new hobbie. It's Bible study and prayer. I have been hit with such a strong urge and desire to meet the Lord personally every day. It's probably come at the most difficult time of life for that, but I'm trying. And most days, He does provide me 15 minutes for that - sometimes longer, but I take what I can get. It has been very refreshing for myself, for my children, and for our marriage.
I do have a question for you...
Why are the wounds inflicted on us by the church the deepest, most hurtful of all? Why can just one wrong word from a brother or sister in the church, cut so deeply? And how do we forget?

2011-04-06T17:00:00.000-06:00

Cover photo

2011-04-02T21:35:00.000-06:00

You may notice our new family picture in the header.

I am in love with this picture.

All credit goes to Tammy Marcelain for making us all smile and using her talents in awesome ways.

Here is a link to her website, where there are a few more pictures.

siblings

2011-03-20T14:10:00.000-06:00

Par-TAY!

2011-03-20T13:26:00.000-06:00

We had a birthday party for Ruby yesterday with all her dear friends.

She is a pro at the candle blowing at this point.

Beautiful birthday girl.

Bekah's practicing baby-holding for the summer.

Daddy and chocolate. Could life get better?

5 ACU grads and 4 babies.

The wind didn't stop us from having a great time!

She put this look on for every single package. What a hoot!

Tissue paper is so exciting!


Ruby's second favorite man in the world, Scott. I mean, SCOTT!!

The bubbles were the favorite.

2011-03-20T13:10:00.000-06:00

These pictures were actually taken on the day of her birthday. Happy birthday, Ruby.

two

2011-03-18T06:19:00.000-06:00

Dear Ruby,
Today you are two years old.
Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday, and yet I can hardly remember what you felt like when you were a little baby in my arms. You cried a lot when you were very little, but since you were about three months old, you have been the happiest, most content little girl around. You are - and have always been - very busy! You are always on the go! You have so much to learn and soak up, and every day you surprise me with how much you have learned and remembered from the day prior.
You love to sing, and I love to hear it. This week you have given up sleeping at nap time for your own personal praise session in your crib. You just sing and sing for an hour! Your favorite songs are: Holy, Holy, Holy; So-and-so Came to Church Today; Good Morning, God; I Need Thee Every Hour; the Alphabet Song, and so many, many more! I don't know how you think of them all on your own, but I've always known you were positively brilliant.
You have been a big sister for three months now, and you are the best big sister I have ever seen! I knew you would be - even when other people thought I was crazy for thinking so. You are so sweet to your baby brother and such a big helper. You are quick to help wipe his spit up from his chin. You bring me his paci when he's fussy. You even take it away from him and put it away in his crib because, you say, "You don't need this right now, Stephen." (Which is exactly what we say to you when you are wanting your paci.)
You are also a big helper with your own things. You pick up your toys when I ask you to, and very rarely need to be asked twice to do something. You take good care of your books, too.
You love to wear big bead necklaces, and you look so pretty.
Recently, you have started wearing ponytails - and you keep them in. Of course, without a bow.
You love to run and play outside. But you do not like to have dirt on your hands. Or scraped knees.
You are getting more adventurous at the park, too. You are still not a fan of the slide, but you love to climb up and down the stairs to it for hours. And you play so nicely with the other kids.
You also enjoy going to preschool on Thursday mornings. And Bible study on Wednesday morning.
But there's not anything you love more than going to Bible class on Sundays and Wednesday nights. You have so many good friends there: Luke, Stella, Bethany, Melody, and Zoe, and Nora is your teacher. Your teachers have told me how good you are in class and how well you sing! I am so proud of you, Ruby.
You are a sweet, precious little girl. You are full of life and energy. You are so beautiful and growing up so fast.
You know how to spell your name. You can sing all your ABCs. You can count to 14. And you are teaching baby Stephen everything you know.
Since your last birthday, you have learned to walk and talk, gone to Washington DC, moved out of your home twice, traveled to Guatemala, become a big sister, and visited Mama and Papa in Indiana. You take it all in stride. You are a wonderful traveler, and you have been incredibly resilient to all the changes we have thrown at you.
I love it when you ask me to rock you and read you a book. I love to cuddle you in my arms and feel your arms around my neck. You are so warm and comfy. I just wish you would stay this little forever.
I pray that you continue to grow up in the Lord, and that you love Jesus with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. I pray that you will always love His laws and obey His commands. I pray that you will be a fierce woman against Satan and his lies, and that you use your strong personality to fight him. I pray that you have a heart of a missionary, with a passion to spread the Good News of Jesus to all people, everywhere.

I love you, my dear sweet little girl.
Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mommy

the D word

2011-03-17T20:37:00.001-06:00

I have wanted to share some news with you all for quite some time, but - again - I find it hard to find the time for computer, especially computer with two free hands for typing. If you receive an email from me, it was probably typed with one hand and had many typos that I have quit taking the time to correct. I apologize.

To the news.

For many months I have been mulling over an idea in my head. For a while I was pregnant, then I was not pregnant, but nursing and adjusting to life with two under two.

Now I'm not pregnant, still nursing, but I'm not quite as emotionally unstable as I was two months ago. So I have dived in. I'm on a diet.

I can hear the cackling now. I may not need to remind you that I've dieted before, and with some pretty stinkin' good results. See this age-old post where I brag about my successes.

So why am I back here?

Good question.

I have had not one, but two babies. Pregnancy is an absolute assault on one's body. Even if you manage to not give in to your cravings, you still gain weight, seemingly uncontrollably. And doctors advise you not to diet while you are breastfeeding. I did go to my doctor before beginning this diet for some baseline numbers and her advice. She was very supportive, but recommended I eat 2500 calories a day.

No, I am not counting.

Yes, that's a ridiculously high number.

When I'm hungry, I eat. And I'm watching Stephen for cues if he's getting enough to eat. He's pretty happy (pretty much always), so I think he's all right.

Now for the details:

It is called the Hallelujah Diet. Cheesy name, yes. Strict? You bet. Working? Mmmm... Yeah, I think so. It is an all-out vegan diet. No animal products, whatsoever. But I haven't gone that overboard with it since I need those calories. I've been advised to keep some dairy and some eggs in my diet for the protein and calories. And I'm glad of that because I just don't know what I would do on this earth without cheese.

The diet is based on the principle that when God created the heavens and the earth (see Genesis 1) and man and woman, he gave them every seed-bearing fruit and plant to eat for food. Yep, Adam and Eve - by our account - were vegetarians.

Now, hear me when I say! I am not here to debate the theology behind this diet... I'm not even here to change anyone else's eating habits. I do not think it is sinful or morally wrong to eat meat. I am doing this because I believe it is what's best for my body right now. I needed more raw fruit and vegetables. And I am striving to eat them. Kent and I are eating salads and smoothies daily. I am no longer cooking any meat (errr... scratch that. I DID brown some ground turkey this evening for Kent's salad), no chicken, no turkey, and absolutely no beef or pork (although those last two have been out of my kitchen for many, many years already).

Oh, and no refined flour or sugar. And no caffeine.

And technically no chocolate, but... uh... well, I NEED chocolate. To ward off post-partum depression and stuff...

It's been a big change for us, but an exciting one. I am eager to regain my health and vitality. I believe my energy level has increased. A little. We are eating lots and lots of hummus (which I now make myself because it's so much cheaper, and delicious), spinach, pita, carrot juice, and fruit.

So far, I am six pounds down in the three weeks we've been doing this. I try not to weight too often, because I seriously just want my body to be a healthy, living temple for the Lord. Weight loss, while desirable, is only secondary to that goal.

Thank you all for staying tuned... Rest assured I'll keep you posted on my progress. I need that accountability.

Even Ruby likes it!

Mmmmm.... Carrot juice!

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busy busy busy

2011-03-17T20:00:00.000-06:00

We have had a busy time of it lately.

But to catch you up, we were given a shower,

went to Abilene for a week,

were visited by Mama and Papa,

and have played and played in the spring-time sun.

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

With love,

The Brantlys

Birthday Party

2011-03-06T15:19:00.000-06:00

As you all know, we were in Abilene this week. We took the opportunity to celebrate Ruby's second birthday (which is in just a few weeks) with her four grandparents and two great-grandparents.

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Love, Part Three

2011-03-06T15:17:00.000-06:00

Finally, it's here, folks. Thanks for sitting tight. To catch up, you can read Part one and Part two here.

For several years I prayed that the Lord would take away my feelings for Kent, that He would completely remove him from my life and give me peace!

And I would have peace. Then he would write to me again and throw me for a total loop. I'd flitter around for days afterward...

It was pitiful. And all those who knew me in those days can testify to my alternating moods of heartbreak and soaring in the clouds.

In 2007, I was tired of sitting and waiting. It was time to take some action. (Girls, I want to be pursued just like anyone, and I don't want anyone to think that throwing themselves on a man is the way to win his heart. I quite disagree, in fact. But I do think that in some cases - like when the man tends to overthink things - he just needs a little nudge in the right direction.)

I sent Kent a mixed CD for his birthday in February. It really was quite innocent, but I'm not one for knowing the lyrics very well (my friends can testify to this one). Some of the songs might have had subliminal messages. The list included White Flag by Dido, What If by Coldplay, and Hamburg Song by Keane. Go check them out, but just know that really, REALLY I didn't mean anything by them! Truly.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Kent, however, actually listened to the words... over and over and over again. And the timing of the gift worked in my favor as well. He has told me that he was taking stock and thinking through his life and his friendships and his relationships with girls. The story that I've heard is that he scrolled through the names of his girl friends, coming up with reasons why he would not or could not marry them. He came to me and couldn't come up with one.

So he had no reason NOT to marry me, so we got married.

Hooray!

Wait. Hold up. There's more story in there.

He mulled over the CD for a time, while he was studying and reading countless hours a day in medical school. And a few months passed.

By October, I had come up with a reason to see Kent again. The Denver Broncos (my favorite football team) were playing the Indianapolis Colts (his favorite football team) in, conveniently, Indianapolis, where Kent lived. I had talked my dad into joining me there, and asked Kent if he'd be interested in joining us at the game. He said, "Absolutely!" and also offered us a place to stay at his (his parents') house. I quickly purchased tickets and began counting down the days.

My dad decided he couldn't get away that weekend after all, so I was on my own. I guess that worked out for the best, but if he had gone, I would have had some support in cheering for my Broncos! As it was, I was the only one. But I'm skipping ahead.

A few days before I left for Indiana, I panicked. What was I doing?! What was I thinking?! He may have a girlfriend! What if I make a total fool of myself?!

My inadequacies were lining up all in a row. Basically, I was a nervous wreck. My friends Kelli and Anne were so good to me during this tumultuous time. I don't know what I would have done without their support and encouragement.

Kent put me through some torture, but the wait was well worth it. Stay tuned to hear how my weekend visit to Indy went.

i thought...

2011-02-24T16:44:00.000-06:00

Well, I thought mother's day out would be WAY longer than usual today. Meaning, I had way to much on my list to try to get done before I picked up Ruby.

And writing Part 3 of my love story was one of those things that did not get done. Sorry.

I also have a mountain of laundry to fold and another mountain to wash - and good grief! I do laundry DAILY. How can four people dirty so many clothes?! Am I the only one who wears anything twice?!

I am trying to get ready to head to Abilene this weekend. Kent's on nights and I'm consigning at Dittos for Kiddos. Come check out this giant sale and gets some bargains! Also, my in-laws will be in town so I'm hoping to spend some time with them while I'm at it.

And maybe I'll blog.

Maybe.

caught

2011-02-17T18:01:00.001-06:00

Several months ago I went with a few friends to a hoity-twoity art museum. After we had a very pleasant (and delicious) lunch, we started to leave. I thought I better change Ruby's diaper before getting in the car. So I found a dark corner in the lower level and laid her across my lap to change her. My friends and I were the only ones around except for the receptionist (or concierge, or whatever you call people at museums). Well, I heard the lady raise her voice talking to her comrade, "SHE shouldn't be doing that HERE!" She obviously wanted me to hear her, but didn't want to come tell me herself where I could find a changing station.

That really aggravated me (she was on my LAP, people!), and even though it was almost a year ago, I still wish I had reacted differently. I have replayed the scene in my head many times, and calmly (sometimes not very calmly) explained to the woman how much better -and more welcoming- it would be to, if she found fault with my behavior, gently approach me and simply tell me where I could find a changing table.

I don't know why this came to mind today, but Ruby caught me staring out the window with a scowl in my forehead, muttering to myself the speech I have rehearsed in my head over and over.

She turned and faced me and gave me the exact same look and moved her mouth like she was talking, silently. Just like I was doing!

It was hilarious!

She gently put me in my place, and now when I remember that event, it will no longer conjure up anger, but laughter - remembering that look she gave me.

She's too much!

My cuties

2011-02-17T14:30:00.000-06:00

Making cornbread

Just to be clear: That's "Wow!" She's not licking...

The next Iron Chef

Stephen's first trip to the zoo. He got a lot out of it, I'm sure.

Also, Daddy's first trip to the zoo!

Our Love Story, Part Deux

2011-02-17T12:07:00.001-06:00

If you missed Part One of my thrilling romance, you can catch up here.

I left you in Honduras in an old mountain village, where I was just meeting and falling in love with a man named Kent Brantly. We continued to keep in touch by email - just as friends, you know. The rare here's-what's-happening-in-my-life type emails. After that summer, Kent decided to come back to ACU for a fifth year so he could fulfill some science prerequisites for the MCAT - the medical school entrance exam. I couldn't have been more delighted to find out he'd be in my neck of the woods for a year. School started, and I was excited about the possibility of running into him in person from time to time.

And I did run into him occasionally, usually in the campus store where I worked and where he brought Scantron cards. I enjoyed our short visits, and generally melted on the counter after he walked away.

We even hung out together a few times. One time I brought him brownies. One time he called me to watch a movie with some of his friends. It was a horrible, violent movie, but the company was good.

Shortly after that, though, we were chatting and he told me he was dating somebody - a girl that was on our mission trip to Honduras actually. I was surprised because I didn't think she was a very nice person. Maybe I was just jealous. But she wasn't very nice to me anyway. I left that conversation kind of like "Well, good luck with that..."

And heartbroken.

But my life continued. I had lots of friends that year, and it was a year of extreme spiritual growth for me. In addition to the campus store, I also worked in the dorms as a "Spiritual Life Advisor." It sounds more impressive than it actually was. My role was to just be present for the girls and conduct Bible studies. I discovered what true community was in those halls, especially with my fellow SLAs. Good times; great memories.

The school year ended, and Kent and I were still friends who ran into each other occasionally and either emailed or IM'd every once in a while. The day after I took my last final I flew to Costa Rica for the summer, where I went to language school and interned with a local missionary. Kent went home to Indiana to apply to medical school.

He went back with a group to Honduras for a mission trip in July, and I managed to find a way to get there from Costa Rica. Of course, I was traveling under the guise of wanting to see my friends there, Nancy and Ericka... and I guess it would be nice to see Kent, too.

It also gave me the opportunity to meet his dad and sister, Krista. That was terrifying.

I enjoyed the weekend and seeing my friends again, but I especially relished the opportunity to see Kent again. Who knew when or IF I would ever see him again... He had moved out of Texas and was now at the mercy of any medical school to accept him. It was an exciting time for both of us: He was off to graduate school with grand and lofty goals, and I was in Costa Rica (aka, Paradise) and would start nursing school when I returned home.

And that's what we did. We continued corresponding, rarely, but considered each other good friends. At some point he broke up with that girl and raised my hopes. Then he wrote that he was dating another girl (who was also a missionary and a nurse, and I thought that was it - no chance for me now)...

But, as you now know, the Lord had other plans.

Stay tuned to hear how He finally changed Kent's heart.

seriously?!

2011-02-16T13:28:00.001-06:00

Ruby is sick.

It may or may not have something to do with her drinking yesterday's milk.

My own questioning of the suspect resulted in inconclusive evidence.

I am trying to remember if I remembered to tell Kent before we were married that I don't do vomit. Did I? I may have forgotten in the whirlwind of our engagement. (Oh, wait! You don't know about that yet, because I haven't written it! Sorry for the delay... but my kid is sick.)

the count

2011-02-15T09:19:00.002-06:00